Our new normal does not feel remotely normal to any of us, but it's getting closer all the time. Here are some examples.
We did the state standardized testing for the grade we pulled our daughter out of so that she could have a concrete end-point and be able to tell people what grade she is in. Turns out, she scored 15 percentile (not percent) point below her IQ level on that exam, which made me really wonder what they're testing. The exam was developed by the same company and everything. She did just fine, but it doesn't make sense to me. I have no time to think about that, so moving on. She wanted to celebrate, so we did a small celebration with her grandparents, and had some new pictures taken, calling them her __ grade pictures. It was fun and gave her some of the same fun milestones she was feeling a little lost without.
Recently, my husband took her in to Sunday school, but not her normal class. They asked which table she should sit with, since multiple grades are in the same room. There was a long awkward pause, then he said, "I don't know. Just let her choose," and left . . . rather quickly, I imagine. He simply couldn't remember. Each decision requires not just knowing a number, but deciding whether to keep her with the group she has been with for the school year, or have her with her academic-level peers, etc. It's complicated. The next day, she asked me what she should say next time someone asked her because "Dad didn't know." Oh, that one will be fun at life events forever!! We all laughed and will all continue to, I hope.
Another mother recently told me how she was feeling the need to take a break from the giftedness groups because she was just tired of doing so much talking about it. While I understand the feeling, there is a steep learning curve, and I am not in a position where that is a good option, personally. Besides, last week, we went to cash checks made out to my daughter and it even came up there. Yup! She had two checks to cash. One was from mensa, which was completely unfamiliar to me until December of last year. The other was from a testing organization as compensation for her involvement in norming a new version of an IQ test. The friendly cashiers asked questions that led right into the topic. We are simply honest people, and even vague answers lead there so much more often than you'd think.
We were at a pet store asking questions, and the salesperson kindly offered us some handouts. Turns out, we didn't need one, since our daughter had read an encyclopedia on the topic before we agreed to look into it. I didn't think through the conversation until I got "the look" that salespeople give us. I translate it "where on earth do I go from here?" or "What kind of crazy parents are these people?" or "Are you mocking me?" I shrugged it off and changed the subject.
Add the fact that we homeschool and have a schoolage child out during school hours, and you get all sorts of uncomfortable questions and conersations. In fact, my daughter would prefer not to go to some stores with me during the weekday to avoid the questions, and I hear similar reactions from other parents in our homeschool small group.
A few months into homeschooling now, we are starting to reconnect with some precious people that we have been meglecting and missing. As the questions about what books are being read come up, and people ask what grade kids are in, there are awkward situations with the friends we knew before any of this was on our radar. Now, the kids that have always been the same year in school as our daughter . . . . aren't.
It will continue to be an ongoing adjustment. Every parent has awkward moments with their kids, regardless of their circumstances. I feel like we have a new onslaught of new topics to navigate. At least we're still laughing. Here's hoping it continues indefinitely :)
No comments:
Post a Comment