Age Appropriateness

For you parents whose primary concern is choking hazards, enjoy the time when all you need to do is read the label to see what will be "appropriate" :) For those of you with multiple children, I'll pass along a story. We have friends with 4 children, rather close together. I received a funny e-mail years ago that talked about how the first child gets the pacifier boiled if it drops, the second gets a water rinse, and the third gets a pants wipe before putting it back in the child's mouth. My friend responded with her examples with the fourth child. Her final example is the one that really sticks with me. "It's not a choking hazard until it's stuck." I love that woman, and she is the one we always called when we wanted to know which one was the best urgent care - not because they are at all careless. With four children, things are multiplied.

When we had our daughter assessed for IQ, originally as part of an entrance process to an alternative school, we chose a woman who is extremely thorough, Dr Deborah Ruf. Part of her assessment includes personality assessments of the parents and child(ren), which helps because we can be directed to resources on how to best support one another. Part of her reports includes a breakdown of different areas and the intellectual age of the child. Ours had a 4 years range depending upon the area, and not one of them was her age . . . or a year older . . . you get the idea. However, her age affects many things.

Teenagers are most likely to hate you if you tell them that they will understand something differently or better when they are older. Perhaps it is because they have heard it so often by the time they are teenagers. Perhaps they feel thier intelligence is being questioned. Perhaps it is because they are intellectually adults in some areas/cases. However, experience matters. I experience things much differently now than I did 5 years ago, and I was well into my adult years at both of those ages. Our experiences change us. Sometimes they teach us new things, and sometimes they simply allow us to see things from an additional angle. Time is part of experience, so you can imagine that our daughter has had little experience due to her short years on this earth.

For many of the activities I have looked into recently, my daughter is at the top end of the age range. While her emotional maturity is not advanced, her intellectual maturity is advanced. Her stature is small, so that is another are where her age range might be appropriate for her. It greatly complicates planning and deciding! We have recently started homeschooling, and it's wonderful how flexibly people have been in these circles! Maybe many of them have similar situations or work with similar people, so they are more comfortable with the adaptations. I'm just thankful, whatever the reason.

When it comes to scientific information, I almost always sign her up for classes that are older. If it involves physical play, I stick with her own age range, and prefer her to be at the top of it. Books and toys were a problem for a while. Our daughter is a rule kid and if the age range on the box doesn't include her, she felt like she was breaking a law. Fortunately, she has gotten over that. We explained part of the results from her assessment to her, in order to "give her permission" from an authority figure - Dr Ruf - in order to get past her emotional reaction, which definitly falls within her actual age. There are almost no toys are books that include her age and are actually appropriate for where she's at. As a result, she was bored. Because she was bored, she felt like she was "wierd" and that there might be something wrong with her. Sad.

I must run, but wanted to share a bit of my recent thoughts. Do any of you have similar examples of age appropriateness, whether a funny saying or a deep experience or advice for us as we stumble forward? I'm particularly interested in how families choose literature for their children who read above age level. How do you decide what will be appropriate for your child and protect them without hindering them? Thank you for sharing your time with me - I'd love to hear your thoughts, as well!