Quirkiness

For any of you as interested in the 39 clues series, I offer this example. The 11-yr-old college freshman is short on friends and feels that he's wierd. His friend, Dan, says "You are wierd, dude. Embrace the wierdness. It's cool!" I think that concept applies to all people, gifted or not, young or old, etc.

We recently had some pictures taken and it hit me how much happier our girl looks. I know that she is happier, naturally, but it was striking in these photos. Our child is back. That might sound strange, especially since we are in new waters and trying to figure out where we are. The "new normal" is constantly shifting and full off "wierdness."

I've always felt a little OCD about getting things done. My degree is essentially fancy organizing. I'm just wierd that way, and that is how I've referred to it for as long as I can remember. Honestly, that seemed like a defect . . . seems like a defect sometimes. As I've been sitting in groups of parents of gifted children, I'm listening. I'm learning. I'm noticing patterns in the stories about the kids. I'm also noticing patterns with the parents.

Interestingly, these groups tend to have a higher percentage of dad involvement, as in hands-on during the day. I know my husband would love to have that, but right now it's just not going to happen. There are a lot more boys there than girls. I think I've talked about the theories behind that previously.

Recently, two girls who are VERY into notebooks, writing, and books, excitedly walked up to one of the homeschool coop administrators and talked about writing a newspaper or newsletter. While this is cool, I was uber-impressed with the gal. She was not only open to it, despite being crazy-busy, but highly encouraging. I could see her trying to match the girls excitement and ask content-rich questions. These people are not only interesting in kids, but they make the kids a priority. They are fascinated by their children. I get really excited about that. What kid isn't going to be happy in an environment that like?! I'm sure there are many environments like that, but this was an eye-opening, extreme example for me.

I'm learning to be this kind of mom. If you show me a science experiment, or toned-down colors, or reference books . . . well, I don't get worked up about them. However, our daughter will not go to bed without her encyclopedia. She has many series of books at different levels, but for the last week or so, she will search high and low for that encyclopedia (the Usborne internet-linked one for kids) and is reading it like a book with "chapters." The time she has "off" is filled with learning. She really is a sponge. The more we let her be a sponge and show interest and support for her quirky interests, the happier she gets. I heard one family say that their recent mantra was, "Quit doing math and go to bed!" I'll bet a lot of people are laughing about it. If you can relate, you have a gifted kid. It makes that family laugh, too.

The parents are never unproductive. Maybe it's because we are a homeschool group. My working definition of homeschooling is being a full-time teacher simultaneously with everything else. . . . its 24/7/365. That being said, my husband IS involved. Every night and every weekend and every day off. Our child never is NOT learning. That would not fit within fun for her.

There is an intensity about the kids and the parents. The parents all brought three times as much work to do as they could get done, even without any chatting. There is a ton of chatting, so very little gets accomplished beyond sharing ideas and support, which is more important. The parents, like their kids, cannot sit still. I am also guilty of this. I keep knitting, crocheting, cross-stitching, or something with me at all times. I don't like to have my hands still. Movies and audio books are my addiction, and I've found that books and needlework are common hobbies in the group. One mom is very interested in showing me an 800 page book on knitting . . . um . . . I think it's really cool that she likes it, and she is amazing with her ever-present knitting. Reading an 800 page book on knitting is not going to happen for me, however, and we got a good laugh out of the difference between us that way. I just figure that it's not warmer if it's fancier. I find yarn I like and make it stay together in a scarf. She is convinced that she will convert me. We'll see. . . My mother would love her for it, I'm sure.

When I think of my favorite people in the world, before or after we entered the "giftedness" phase, I think of things that make someone different. One woman I've only met twice, I always remember because of the way she looked at and experimented with a can cozy. I can't tell you why it was fascinating exactly, but I think of it often . . . years later, even. She is the sister of a woman I love dearly. I saw the same creative "what can I do with this?" kind of look on her face, I think. Her sister has come up with so many creative ways to reinvent . . . She lives a life many would call normal, but she is not normal to me. She is extraordinary!

While I still don't feel comfortable in this group of people, I'm getting there. I'm seeing the similarities and understanding my daugher's and my own quirks in a different way. It's fascinating and entertaining to see this group interacting.

In the movie Good Will Hunting, Robin Williams' character says he loves that his wife farts in her sleep; that knowing that about her is part of what makes her his wife. What are your quirks and why do you like them? What are the ones you love most about your spouse, children, etc? I constantly have to have my liquid soap dispensers full, even if the rest of the bathroom is a wreck. I like using different colors in my calendar and notes; nothing is color coded, but I like color, so I use different ones all the time - I switch about once a week. I'd love to hear yours!