Anniversary month

My husband reminded me several times lately that this is our anniversary month for the topic of this blog. This is the month where the decreasing sunlight seemed to correspond directly with a degeneration in M's self-confidence and happiness . . . in her general ability to function. I wish I could say it reverted quickly, and compared with some situations it did. However, we had months of bewilderment, sleeplessness, tears all around, etc. As the darkness increases during this season, I think of Sting's song "Mercury Falling" which is literally about Fall - the fall in temperature as measured by a thermometer. It's a sad song, and I still believe I'm evolved from some form of plant; as the darkness increases, I somewhat wilt. This year has been different, though. M has changed so much, and we have been able to do more with greater amounts of joy and fewer disruptions in the routine of life than . . . . ever before, I think. It's such a relief! We are still tired, and this mom has definitely been taking the darkness as a sign that more naps are prescribed :) Wishing you rest and peace in this season, as well as hope for brighter seasons ahead. No matter where you are in the journey, I recommend cuddling on the couch and napping with your baby boy or girl.

Ratatouille

I was watching this on DVD with M the other day - it's one of my favorites lately. There's a scene where the older woman shoots a bunch of holes in her ceiling trying to get a rat in her house. She does so much structural damage that the ceiling crashes down with an entire colony of rats sitting in the middle of the fallen piece. At this point, I was expecting something expressing concern for the animals from M - she put on a show telling us all the reasons killing bugs was not good recently. However, she turned to me and said, "She must not have looked in her attic for a long time."

My soul is sick

I'm sorry for being so silent for a while. Our immediate family is doing well. The journey is not easy, and I'm gaining grey hair quickly, but M is happy and thriving. However, my soul feels sick. There are wonderful awareness events and and efforts for so many different challenges related to parenting and kids who are wired differently in many ways. Highly gifted kids are not included in much effort for awareness and effort. That was part of my goal in starting this blog. I found plenty of intellectual information, but almost nothing related to the emotional journey. This week, I was made aware of another parent who is struggling with the school systems for her highly gifted child. The results of the test that the school administered (chosen because of insurance coverage) was deemed inconclusive - the range of IQ was over 25 points across the categories, so it's considered a dud test. Since these kids are wired differently, they are often misidiagnose or mislabeled. This family is doing their best and saving up for a testing session with an administrator who is familiar with giftedness and the ways that it affects the testing process and results. They will not have better information soon. We were lucky. M got a great first test, and God helped us find a more direct path through earthly angels. Yes, we paid for it, and it was not cheap. The changes we have made as a result should make our financial lifestyle drastically altered, but it is not. God is faithful. I love His math. The other event that makes my soul feel sick right now is that I was told of an instance of inexcusable physical behavior between children at one of the main schools for kids like M in our area, and a popular choice because it is covered with federal funding. It's the second family with problematic experiences there that we've heard from directly. I wonder if there are others. It's seems unfair that these kids go through so much challenge and frustration in their education, then so many of them are finding a situation that is physically unsafe. The reactions of the staff seems woefully blase, at this point. There was follow-up, but the label put on it, "bullying" doesn't fit my definition of all that happened. Yes, there was bullying. In the opinion of the child and the family - and myself, the last straw went beyond bullying, into the category of abuse. Protecting our children can be so difficult. I understand that hard knocks can make solid lessons, but there are limits that have been crossed. We had planned on that school for M at some point. We are now back to "What next?" It doesn't change our immediate actions, but is disheartening on multiple levels. I believe God is good and faithful. I believe He has minimized the impact on the children, but I am still disheartened. Soul sick. Pray for these children and their families with me, please. An update: I spent time with the victim the day following the worst incident, and again a few days later. It was alarming to see the evidence of the encounter in the child's behavior early in the week. By the end of the week, I was pleased to see the person I remember from my other encounters with them. Joy had returned, and a previously loved school was begun the following week (they had only left for homeschooling, and not because of issues with that school). I pray that there will continue to be follow-up, both earthly and divine, within the school to protect the many other precious children there.