Homeschool Conference reflections

We attended a homeschool conference that was not centered around giftedness recently. My husband attended with me, and we learned some valuable things that can be applied to our daughter, our home, etc. However, it was a bit disappointing and frustrating, since the giftedness focus seemed to create quite a stumbling block in applying things and limited our options in the exhibitors' booths quite a bit, as well.

The exhibitors . . . it had been a while since I had been that frustrated and uncomfortable.

Salesperson ~ How many do you homeschool?
One
Salesperson ~ how old?
Seven
Salesperson directs us invariably to materials that won't work for us.
As I, who am not shy about interrupting, had a hard time interjecting that we are looking for something different, the salesperson goes on and on without drawing breath.

I tried the approach of "I'm just looking around" without success several times - it did work once, which was faster and easier.

Eventually, I settled on my initial response of "think 3rd to 6th grade" as a starting place to whatever question they started with. Unfortunately, that didn't yield success, either, although it was a faster way to eliminate some of the offerings.

In the end, we found a bit of applicable material, a bit of adaptable material, and whole bunch that just doesn't apply to us.

There are a few scars, though. After some unsuccessful investigating, we decided to be bold and actually admit that we have a highly gifted child on a couple of occasions. Yes, it takes bravery more often than you might think. Here's a little bit of what we got in response to that:

"So just start at a higher level" ~ in some cases high school or college, which were not presented in a way that is interesting to a 7-year-old girl . . . no pink, no buterflies . . . she is still 7, after all.

"That's wonderful! The beauty of homeschooling is that you can just go at your own pace, and we have all the lesson plans and tests and quizzes included for you." ~ this curriculum is just as repetitive as mainstream schools and would yield . . . unfortunate side effects.

"I really don't understand how you can say that you're not finding something that works for that." ~ this was my favorite. I even went so far as to tell her that we were talking about highly gifted to the extent that it is special needs education and not as simple as just going forward; that it needs a different approach. She repeated her earlier comment.

"We have it all divided up into lesson plans and you can do a placement test to find out where to start." Is this obvious to anyone else? When my daughter casually asked me about multiplication over one summer, she mastered single-digit multiplication in 10 minutes. Those lesson plans aren't helpful. We could go broke on these curriculum, "going at our own pace," in an alarmingly short amount of time, and using very few pages of the material . . .

We left the exhibit hall feeling defeated and depleted. This was no small conference, either! My husband put his hand on my back and said, "Well, at least we tried." Five months ago, I was as ignorant of the differences and needs as these people, so I know I shouldn't judge them. Also, they are salespeople; their job isn't to solve every problem, but to sell their materials. However, when it affects our only child and us dramatically, I can get emotional about it quickly.

We ran into a woman who my husband knew from many years ago at this same conference, and we sat with her for a bit. After we opened up to her about our daughter, she told us about hers - the same age who reads at the same level. She never thought of her child as gifted, which is something I've heard many people within the giftedness groups we have joined echo. I told her that I felt the same way in December. Her eyes got big, then she thought a bit, her expression fell and she said "it's not all the time" - that sometimes she goes nuts because of the immaturity. My husband and I spoke at once. I said, "That's what giftedness is." He said, "Of course! That's an 8 year old. Ours does that, too." All at once, this woman's eyes changed and she started to wonder. I gave her a couple of resources, as well as my e-mail address, and she left looking hopeful.

I very much hope everyone finds solutions that work for them, whether or not they are like ours.

I also went to the conference desk and left specific feedback about inviting presenters I respect in the area of giftedness and expressing my disappointment that it wasn't better represented there. Interestingly, the 2 women working the info booth have giftedness experience within their own families, whether children or grandchildren, and one studied it in college.

I am doing what I can, but it's easy to feel alone and/or misunderstood. I refuse to give up.