I so often hear people talk about someone they know who is dealing with "the other end of the spectrum" from me. I find that very curious.
When I go to my favorite secondhand book store to find books that were recommended to us by a specialist, those books are filed in the special education section, which seems completely appropriate. What is less encouraging is the proportion of books dedicated to what I assume people mean by "the other end of the spectrum," and how some people clarify the phrase. Many days, there aren't any books on giftedness, which is definitely a special need in terms of education. There is never a day I don't find books on ADHD and autism, among others.
My brother is brilliant and intensely curious. Recently he told me something like, "the world would be a better place if more people had aspergers" and he was referencing a study or article he'd read. Interestingly, most of these things are related to a specific way the brain is "wired". I am fascinated by the ways that different people understand things, and have worked in education since I was 19 because of that fascination. I have a feeling that there aren't really two ends on a straight line. In fact, I've seen information indicating that people can have learning disabilities and giftedness simultaneously. I believe that God separated us from our sins as far as the east is from the west, but I don't believe he created a learning spectrum that works the same way.
When we first started the assessment process with our daughter, I was skeptical. I think we both were. One turning point for me was reading not only on what things gifted children are capable of that "ordinary" children are not, but also what gifted children cannot do that "ordinary" children can. This really isn't about better or worse, but different. That I can get behind. Think about the fact that Einstein failed in school. That fact is thrown around for shock value, but it's interesting in light of this topic, especially.
The most common thing I hear people acknowledge as a downside to high intelligence is "the social aspect" as a teenager put it to me recently. Yes, relationships are very important and socialization for children of all ages. However, it's not as simple as people of high intelligence being wierd. Plenty of people of average intelligence are wierd and very normally socially developed.
My daughter is not a big fan of princesses. She might be the first girl her age to hear we will be near Disneyworld, and ask only if we will go to SeaWorld. When kids her age want to play dress-up or with dolls, she's interested in spending time with them, but not at all interested in dolls, and only a little bit interested in dress-up. She has hardly played with toys since she was about 5. She's simply more interested in other things.
A woman I knew told me that she was very unpopular in school because of her intellect. She is an astonishing intellectual. However, the more I heard about her childhood, the more I noticed things that could lead to feeling ostracized that had nothing to do with intellect. It's easy to focus on one potential cause, I think. I'm trying to keep this in my with my daughter, as well.
I assumed that being an only child whose mother worked from home lead to her being unusually interested in interacting with older people. According to the research we've been given recently, it's a sign of giftedness. Her intellectual age is beyond her chronological age . . . and her maturity-level and experience. As Dr Ruf says, people hang out with people who get their jokes. I love that reference. It's true, and what a delight laughter is in relationships! Now, I need to figure out why I enjoy "dumb humor" as much as I do . . . I've had this theory that when I'm tired, it makes me feel smart again. While I can enjoy being the lesser intellectual in a group whole-heartedly, you'd laugh if you knew the kind of comedy I'm thinking about!
Anything that puts someone in a small percentage of the population can lead to feelings of loneliness or being an outsider. I would be surprised if anyone was without at least one thing that confirms this concept. I think adults can be just as insecure as children, if not moreso. I love efficiency, to the point that I loved working in a factory and managing many raw materials, production schedules and outputs. I'm just wierd that way. I have found several ways where I can be enthusiastic about it with other people, but I don't believe it is something that makes me seem normal in any situation.
I hope that I can encourage and support my daughter's interests so that she sees her indiosincracies and unusual interests as fun. We start meeting with a special interest homeschool group this week. Other parents in the group told me how their kids just felt a sense of belonging when they joined. I hope it will be the same for my daughter.
During her "weekends off," she enjoys geography exploration in various ways with her father, as well as nature documentaries. She also enjoys things like video games, and can beat every adult in our family at driving games. As my husband tells me frequently, she is wierd because we are. Last week, he got protective of a wooden map puzzle, even though we have two larger map puzzles, a globe (prominent in our family room and frequently used) and countless maps. Yep, he's wierd too.
I'd love to hear the ways you're odd and wonderful . . . I think people who appear normal are probably just faking it, anyway :)
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