Please let me begin by saying that we are Christian. There are people who do ugly things in the name of Christianity out there, but I do not consider those people to be my people. I have highly respected and valued people in my life who have different religious views. Please be kind and respectful with me. I definitely will do my best to do the same.
I think all parents have beliefs that are especially important to them. They may be political, spiritual, philosophical, nutritional, or any number of other categories. As parents, we feel a deep longing to share what is most important to us with our children. It can be something as simple as a love of music or art. While we all hope that our children will share our views on matters of particular interest, spirituality must come from the individual.
Providing education and framework to our children is my focus. Whether or not our children choose to eat a healthy diet or stay physically active once they are grown is outside of our control. While they are in our homes, we have more influence over what is available to them. I believe that spirituality is similar to that.
M has a strong faith. She has from a very young age, and I was skeptical of its depth at first. The more she talked with me about it, the more I realized that it was genuine and that she spent a great deal of time thinking about it. And she loves it! We are Christian and raised her with faith in her surroundings. This was part of her entertainment, reading choices, church activities, and more.
We also have shown her things that are not decidedly Christian. Our reasons for this are many, but being people of faith, we believe that God calls us to be the light of the world. You cannot light up the world if you don't leave the house. However, we also believe that the best way to reach the world is to be loving and the kind of person people want around. In some cases, people have even told me that there is something about me they'd like to have. We are not out to bang people over the head with a Bible. We want M to understand the world she lives in, and to be able to interact with many and enjoy the many valuable interactions available to her.
I get a lot of shocked reactions from people about this, but we studied Creation, Evolution, Big Bang, and Gilgamesh. We, personally, find stories including magic to be entertaining and fun. We are Harry Potter fans, for instance. M has been exposed to a number of things. However, her faith is amazing and strong, and it's something she cherishes as a part of herself.
As she grows, she studies what fascinates her. As a result, she is not only advancing in grade level, but also spiritual understanding. Planning for the school year become one level more complicated. Wednesday night groups at her grade level are talking about emotional and physical things that she is not experiencing. However, her Biblical and historical grasp of material is far beyond that. Community is a big deal for Christians, but as with so many areas of giftedness, it is a difficult one for us to navigate.
We have discussed it at length with youth pastors and many others. One children's pastor actually told me, "you're pushing her too hard." If you are a pastor, never say this to a parent. I never pushed M in any spiritual way. Ever. She loves it, is fascinated by it, and therefore flies through it. She also has a capacity for learning what she loves that is beyond what many can imagine. This pastor meant no harm, but it was painful and damaging in several ways.
There is value in M being with people close to her age. There is value in her being with people close to her experiences, emotionally and physically and intellectually. There is also value in her learning new things, which is an appetite for her. I am afraid that if she is not challenged in her church groups, she will start to have a negative view of church, or it will sour her perception of Christian community.
My husband and I talked about this recently. He tells me he went to Sunday school because it wasn't a choice, but he didn't get anything out of it. I told him I went to the sermons. He said, "yeah, but how about when you were her age." I started sitting through sermones when I was younger than our daughter. That got a stunned silence. He was unsure that she is getting much out of sermons, which she is listening to. However, she will bring up a recent sermon to me and relate it to something in a book or in our experience that day. In many of those cases, she listened to that sermon with her father, and is telling me what was in it. I'm sure she could get more out of sermons in a few years. However, I'm convinced that she gets as much as many adults do out of them now.
If any of you have creative solutions or ideas for addressing this challenge (or others), please leave me a comment. on the pertinent post. All comments will be moderated, so if you'd just like to contact me, let me know that you don't want it published and it won't be. Have a great week and I hope your Fall preparations are exciting and smooth.
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