Is it an intellectual adventure or an emotional one? Yes.

I'm having one of those days.  I ran across this blog post which widened the cracks and made me cry.  No, that's not a bad thing.

http://www.stevewiens.com/2013/07/18/so-i-just-wanted-to-say-thank-you/?utm_content=bufferc094b&utm_source=buffer&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=Buffer

This week, I had another random encounter where our special situation came up, as it seems to every time I leave the house.  The woman, meaning well and trying to be encouraging, talked about how she had an experience "the other direction" from giftedness.  I assured her it is not the other direction.  Before we knew there was anything aside from giftedness going on, I dealt with all of this emotional mess.  Yes, we are dealing with a twice exceptional child, who has legitimate special needs in the governmental sense, even though we are receiving no financial support for them, and STILL need to fill out all of those irritating forms. . .  However, the giftedness part feels to me very much the same as special needs.  Autism is different from Downs Syndrome is different than vision impairment is different from hearing impairment is different from developmental delays is different from giftedness.  As a parent, I relate closely to those who have "different" kids in whatever way.  It's all special educational needs.  That particular woman hates the labels.  Some days I do, too.  Most days, I'm kindof numb to them.

Here's the thing.  I started this blog to deal with the emotional part of the journey, since most of what was originally presented to me was highly intellectual.  I suppose I should not have been surprised since giftedness tends to draw very scholastic people.  I felt all alone, though.  For me, it was an emotional journey.  As I continue, I have learned that most gifted people feel isolated, just as people with kids who are different in any way feel misunderstood, and they filter their words most places.  It's lonely.  God created us to be in community, so lonely is bad.  It feels bad, too.  I have learned that many gifted people either aren't good at or don't believe themselves to be good at emotions and social interaction.

I continue to put myself out there, and to talk about our labels.  So does my daughter.  Some feel this is inappropriate, however, I do it for reasons of community, support and love.  I am far from perfect, but I am doing my best to be loving and connected with others.

I had a service performed this week, and the professional started asking about homeschooling, saying they were considering it.  This happens to me a lot.  I was tired and sad and didn't intend to reveal much.  I was simply not interested in being vulnerable at that moment.  The man started talking about his daughter.  He told me our story, if we had kept our daughter in school and she were a couple of years older.  I exhaled deeply and started talking to him.  He was anxious for more information.  Both my daughter and I threw out terms, books, web sites, and groups that could be helpful.  I felt more energized as I talked to him, and I will pray that whatever their "right answer" is, they find it.  We will continue to look hard for ours, and I feel like my visual capability for finding that path is severely impaired.  The man seemed touched, and I hope I approached him well.  Like many, I feel like a freak in the social interaction realm.  However, I offer myself, flaws and all.

I have often said that if even one family has less stress in their journey like ours, it will be worth every moment of being THAT woman forever - the wierd one who goes out on a limb and seems crazy.  I often picture a scene from the Sorcerer's Apprentice.  When Dave asks Balthazar if he's crazy, Nicholas Cage (as Balthazar) puts his fingers close together in a response.  Yep, a little bit . . . or maybe a lot.  That's me.

Finally, I love the super powers reference from Steve's blog post.  It reminds me of my fabulous frined, R, who I believe follows this.  I hope she sees this because she is such an inspiration to me in how she is a ferocious lover of kids who are not typical.  Just thinking of her makes me smile with pride.  It's such an honor to call her my friend.  If you have special situations and feel alone, I urge you to find people that "get it" - doing that has changed our lives.  People are out there who will understand and support you.  You will get into uncomfortable situations along the way, but nothing is so worth that risk!  Use your super powers and combine them with others.  Do it today!!!  You are not alone.  You are loveable and you are loved!!!!