Doesn't everyone have varying degrees of giftedness? I think so. If you are referring to adults, few would disagree with you. Why do we expect children to be so different?
I realize that initially, children's jobs are eating, sleeping, and growing. A little later, you add things like learning to communicate and move. A little while after that, learning colors, letters, etc. However, why on earth wouldn't children immediately have different levels of affinity for different things? Isn't that part of what makes us unique and interesting?
I know several girls who were reading at an extremely advanced level before school started, to the extent that they were singled out for reading classes right at the beginning of school. In the cases I have in mind, all successfully remained in mainstreamed schools and ended up in mainstream classes at their "appropriate age level" in a local district that is fabulous with giftedness - the one our daughter attended, in fact. The girls I'm thinking of are both taller than me, and one is an adult.
Our daughter did not read early. Many have told me that their children aren't gifted because they aren't ahead in reading or math. I disagree with the logic. I also believe that generalizing like that can be damaging, and I speak from experience. I grew up the daughter of a (retired) teacher, and had to face another (scary) mother's disbelief that my mother didn't teach me to read before school started. I was shocked, confused and hurt. I wondered if I should know how to read. I wondered if I was behind or dumb. I wondered if I should be angry with my mother - she had been a teacher, after all. I must have been about 5 at the time.
I talked to my mother about it. I don't remember that exact conversation as clearly as the other mother's unfortunate approach. However, my mother assured me that she knew I was bright and that I would learn to read when I was interested. I hadn't been interested in reading, yet, and she was sure I would pick it up in plenty of time, in school or before. She was so completely unconcerned about it that I calmed down. She was right. I didn't read early, but I was always in the top reading group in school. I even went on to study foreign literature in depth . . . for fun :)
Our daughter is small and mistaken for a younger girl because of her stature. Lately, when people ask her if she is an age younger than her own, she replies that she is a ___ grader. The first time she did it, I laughed out loud, which confused the poor lady having a garage sale. I confirmed that she was in that grade and we moved on. My husband and I laughed really hard that night after bedtime when I related the story, however. I guess she is over feeling wierd for being ahead in school. I hope these experiences are hurtful to her, and that her new approach is a sign that she is confident in her identity.
I battle self-consciousness as a mother, too. When people hear her talk out and about during the school week, I get a lot of questions about why she isn't in school. When she announces her grade and age, I get a lot of judgement from people - some in facial expression, and others boldly aloud and repetitive, even from strangers. It doesn't make our unusual situation any easier and has (hopefully) taught me to be more sensitive and open-minded about others who have made different decisions than myself. I also hope that my daughter has confidence in my decision-making, as I did in my mother's.
To complicate matters, I work with many educators . . . or used to - I just quit to allow me to relax more and enjoy the experience with my daughter. Many wonderfully caring and well-meaning mothers that I have known through my work have suggested that the school system can find a solution. I disagree in the case of my daughter. Here is where I finally get back to my title.
Currently, the only thing holding back my daughter's voracious scientific appetite is her lack of confidence in (or maybe patience with) math. She is several grades further in science than math. She is almost as advanced in reading as she is in science, but her grammar and hand-writing are at the level of her math. When there is a several grade-range difference in subjects, especially inter-related ones, and you have a complicated lesson plan and educational challenge. For instance, how do you learn about physics and chemistry without math at a similar grade level? How do you write appropriate book reports on advanced literature when you are still mastering grammar and verb conjugation? I believe that the areas where she is most interested are the same areas where she is most motivated/gifted. My approach has been to encourage her (in the most positive way I'm capable) to close the gap between her skill levels wherever it's appropriate.
My daughter is motivated by milestones, which is part of the reason we are keeping track of a grade level. While I don't want her to feel pushed to get further ahead, we are assigning her the grade level of her lowest-achievements. For some, this would be focusing on the negative. For her, this is incentive and goal-setting. Knowing that she can have a new milestone met makes learning less attractive subjects more fun. I'm also being open with her about how those skills can help open opporutnities for her in the subjects she is most interested in, like science. If something seems unnecessary to me, I am not motivated to learn it. If something is useful and relevant, I am interested and motivated. I simply point out the relevence and use of the information she is less interested in. That approach wouldn't work with every kid, but it fits her.
Recently, a woman pressed that she could just skip a grade (hearing what grade she is officially in - the math and grammar grade). This woman is very caring and has genuine concern for me and my family. However, it's not that simple. I wasn't in a situation where I could explain it to her, and am too tired to get into it now. I include this only as a little insight into my world and regular interactions. There's a reason I'm always tired. It's not that people don't care, but the way they try to help isn't always helpful.
People assume that I am against the education system. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is true or not. I always intended to use the public school system for my child(ren), just as I used it. She was at a fabulous school. However, I believe that the government is making it difficult for schools and teachers to individualize learning. Since I believe kids are highly individual, I consider this to be a significant problem in the modern education system. It has changed a lot since I was in school. I still think that the mainstream schools are the right choice for some kids. I don't expect the government to address my every need, including the education my daughter. My biggest challenge right now is overcoming my anger with a system that doesn't address the needs of my child and calls itself "no child left behind." That phrase doesn't match our experience, and we are not alone. I have abundant respect, admiration and gratitude for teachers and school personnel. We have been blessed, surrounded by amazing professionals in the education system throughout our experience. Unfortunately, it still didn't work for us. I thank God so many wonderful people are working hard to keep the education system the best it can be within the regulations they have been given ~ through their occupation within the schools.
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