playdate prep/fitting in

This will be my last post today, as I'm finally getting a few ideas out there officially. We have been getting to know a new friend who lives close to us. I believe God put the 2 of us mothers together for a reason one day last Spring, and our kids are a lot alike. They are both highly gifted, very driven in science, not at all driven in math (except as it facilitates science), and they talk alike. For those of you who know us personally, you'll know what a big deal this is. Strangers stop me, giggling and comment on how adorable and precicious it is . . . most of the time. Then, there was the old man at a garage sale who didn't appreciate hearing that her snails were hermaphrodites (from her own mouth) . . . I digress. Last week I picked this boy up for an afternoon at our house, and as he has siblings, it was their first time interacting independently. M was SOOOOO excited. She thanked and hugged me repeatedly for setting it up. His mom was also excited and thanked me repeatedly. This is part of the sad stuff with gifted kids, but playdates are . . . pretty rare. To find a peer who has similar interests and interacts in a similar way is more difficult when you are statistically less common - it's simple logic, but emotional explosive for some of us. M said, "So this is kindof like a playdate?" I said, "No, it's exactly like a playdate." That brought a big grin. There are a few years between these kids, which is not much in gifted circles - we increase social circles by widening the age group, I think. Dr Ruf says that dividing children into peer groups by age makes as much sense as dividing them by height - both equally limited in which ways those kids will be peers. There have been many questions this summer posed to M about her age. Most people guess young. Very young. Even compared to how young she actually is. I have heard other parents and older kids in our homeschool coop talk about this insecurity related to their giftedness. One girl is studying Asian languages because she feels less insecure around cultures who tend to be genetically smaller - this from the 14-yr-old girl herself. M has her own version of it & I didn't realize until she was getting ready for her playdate. She got dressed very carefully, putting on a size 6X tank top with built-in shelf bra and denim capris with matching (rare, indeed) stitching on them. Her friend probably did not notice what she was wearing. The shelf bra's main purpose seems to be to wierd my husband out. However, just knowing that it's called a shelf bra makes her feel older and more mature. As her friend is older than she is, she wore clothes that made her feel older, and therefore more comfortable and equal. When he talked to me more than her upon first arriving at our house, she got jealous. She gets her patience from her mother and after 5-10 minutes, grabbed him by the wrist and literally dragged him away from me, asking him to play Wii with her. He has younger siblings, so is used to beign dragged around, and looked quite pleased at the attention. They spent hours playing Wii working as a team and it was so easy on me. More recently, she was with her younger cousins. She wore polka-dotted knit pants and a t-shirt that definitely look younger. Funny how she's already dressing to fit in. I guess it starts early for all of us females, huh?

Awkward principal encounter

We were at our local medical clinic for a normal appointment, and were surprised to run into the principal from M's previous school in the waiting area. We think the world of him, so in general, seeing him is not overly awkward. However, M started going on and on about everything she could think to tell him. Like I said, we think the world of him, and clearly she agrees. Then she says, "and Mom can't keep up with me, so when if I finish ___ grade early, we're going to quit homeschooling and unschool again." This is a partially correct quote. In order to fully understand, I must back up. The last grade she started and completed in 5 weeks, then I quit homeschooling her for the year. In the meantime, we have been unschooling. Basicly, this means teaching through everyday activities. Highly gifted children can't seem to get enough information to satisfy their appetite, so the concept is that you don't need to encourage them. Honestly, she has probably completed another grade in the 4 months that we have been unschooling. I laughed at her comment in front of the principal, and he looked curious. "Honey, we aren't going to stop at the end of ___ grade this year." This was out before I could process how much/little the principal knows, etc. Luckily, I didn't voice the next immediate thought, "the state wouldn't be pleased if I stopped schooling you before Halloween" . . . It felt like a long pause as I gathered my thoughts. M was uttering a disappointed and confused "oh" while the principal's eyebrows did a high jump. As M ran off to a different part of the waiting room, I quietly said, "I'm planning about 3 grades worth of material for this year. If she completes that early, I'm definitely quitting!" He agreed and expressed both surprised and excitement for us. Like I said, this is an awesome principal. Funny . . . that wasn't what I expected to happen on my way through the waiting room at the doctor's office . . .

state fair

The end of summer is drawing very near, which means state fair time around here. I was a both amused and uncomfortable when our daughter was invited to help run the booth for the state mensa group. Then again, I didn't know what that was 9 months ago, so maybe I shouldn't be so concerned. My husband saw the postcard and laughed, saying "Do they realize she's only 7?" Probably not, I'm guessing.

Summer Reading programs - rewards are hard?!

Around here, we like to take advantage of the summer reading programs. After all, it's essentially just free stuff we collect. M reads constantly anyway, so it's a matter of filling out a form and maybe doing a bit of coloring. Today, we turned one of those forms in to a local library. The librarian was very sweet and excited. She asked if it had been hard, or if all that reading had been done at the beginning of the summer. M seemed disinterested in the conversation. That persistent librarian asked what she had chosen to read. I could see a mental list of all the titles flashing through her head and M got completely overwhelmed, then said, "I don't remember." I said, "Lots of stuff. Tell her about one or two, at least." There was an awkward pause, then some awkward sentences about butterflies. The librarians eyes had been squinting in concentration, but widened steadily as the flow began. Pretty soon, the librarian and I had learned about a species of butterflies from an aread we vacationed this summer. At a national park M had insisted we visit, she bought a book on butterflies of the area (which she also told the librarian was the source of her information, as if she was reading a research paper). Apparently, there is a variety of butterflies that live their entire lives inside a wood-like enclosure, and even pupate (her word, not mine) inside of it. So, the caterpillar and butterfly live inside of this wooden shell-like structure for the life of the creature. Did I mention that she sounded much more professional delivering the information? I have translated it into terms that make sense to me. That convinced the librarian she had done the reading. Honestly, I never knew about any of that, since I cannot possibly hear about everything she reads. I'm OK with that. Moving on, part of the prize is a new book, and they have a cart full of choices. That sounds like the easy part, right?! Wrong! My girl is a non-fiction girl, and the only non-fiction is in level readers (think past board books, but before chapter books). They had a wide variety, but this was very hard. The sweet librarian offered to tell her about some of them, having recovered from her surprise, and asked what grade M would be in this Fall. While this is a much more logical and effective approach than asking age, or assuming you can tell by the look of a child, it doesn't work with M. She is reading multiple grade levels above her accelerated grade level, so M continue to get more and more frustrated. She looked shy, but as her mother, I saw a pressure-cooker reaching danger point. The librarian remained persistent and got creative, playing up the nature interest by finding novels that include a lot of nature, and simultaneously playing up the nonfiction end by finding historical novels that include quite a bit of accurate historical information. We ended up with a book about the Titanic. Probably not what you'd expect if you saw M on the street. Most of the time people guess she is between 4 and 6 somewhere. She's not, but that is only the start of the complicated individual that is my child. If this concept is intriguing/entertaining to you, check out the Mysterious Benedict Society books, and pay attention to the smallest member. They are a bit dark, but appropriate at younger ages than many more mainstream series. M enjoyed the first one, but didn't want to go through the others. I might have to, anyway. I thought they were fascinating and touching.