It's a new year!

Wow! I didn't realize how long I had neglected this Blog. I have continued to live the topic and questions, however. During the New Year, it's tradition to have resolutions. M decided to resolve to try and have a better life. I'm not sure what that means to her right now, but it sounds like a good one for her age. I didn't make a resolution this year. The last year has meant ongoing change, and I feel like resolutions are unnecessary. In fact, I make them quite often, so who cares about New Years regarding resolutions? A New Year symbolizes a fresh start, however, and we can use one of those, so maybe I do care. We plan to travel more, and I know we will all learn as M experiences new places. We are seeing how the last year has changed us, our lives, our goals, and our values. We are still Christian. We still value Truth - some probably believe we value that too much, however, Jesus said he is the Truth and the light. We have learned to have a greasier coat, in animal terms - to let more run off our backs. Time is so precious, and the truly important people are precious, as well. As a result, the icky and the annoying have become easier to disregard and leave behind. We still do not know God's plan for our future, but feel like we can see a little farther in front of us than we could a year ago, or even six months ago. We will be able to make more decisive choices. We have resolved to make our family within our home a higher priority than it has been in the past, especially in comparison to other relationships. We have decided to place the people who accept us and journey with us at a higher priority as well. Today, I wondered why my husband chose a woman so full of sadness. Then, it occurred to me that he was initially drawn to deep sadness in my eyes. There is beauty in sadness, and this year has reminded me that sadness is not something to flee from, but another part of life and something that adds beauty. A friend who honors me with a view of their tears and non-smiles, as well as the smiles is someone I value much higher than others. In fact, those who don't, tend to not see me much at all. There has been great sadness in our lives over the last few months, and great stress over the last year and a half. Some have reacted defensively. I wonder why. I wonder what they are thinking. Do they think we are judging them? Do they think we feel superior? Do they feel guilt over making different choices than we have? In the end, I do not believe it is about my family, and I need to let them work that out themselves. We have learned more than ever that there isn't one right fit for everyone, so we definitely do not believe that everyone should line up with our choices! There has been a beautiful mix of people who have been drawn to us during this change, and I am so grateful for these gorgeous people. Their spirits nourish our souls, whether or not the shell they reside in is beautiful by cultural standards. I have resolved to prioritize more effort toward M's relationships that match these values, as well. I believe that is an area that has been most lacking. I do not believe it has been lacking because there are not other intelligent people of similar age in the area. In fact, I know there are many. However, forming those relationships has not been happening as I would like. We are making changes. We are feeling a strong pull toward a specific area, and in thinking more about that, realizing that there is a group of people we are feeling drawn to spend more time around. To sum up, sadness led to excitement and anticipation. 2013 is going to be a gorgeous year. There will be sadness, but it will be a beautiful sadness, I'm convinced.