We have been so busy lately! It's so much good stuff, but it also has us mostly around people who are not part of the sphere that we have been comfortably incubated in for a bit. We've enjoyed the company of some incredible people and doing some really fun activities. However, I was reminded just how differently we see the world now than we did just a few months ago. People who are not experiencing this firsthand have a hard time understanding it, even when they want to. Maybe it's insecurity, but I experience people seeing me as a pushy mom pretty regularly . . . whenever we're not surrounded by families with highly gifted people, that is. . .
One of my greatest fears and aversion as we began this journey was that my daughter would feel pushed to grow up too quickly. Closely associated with that was that she would feel that it was incumbant upon her to overachieve in every area. This is an unrealistic goal for anyone, and for a perfectionist, it's downright painful! As I have watched her and worked with her, I've learned that she needs more reign and less bit. When she finished a grade level in a matter of weeks, I forced myself to celebrate with her. Inside, and after bedtime, I was scared to death, and I cried as I realized just how different her life will be than I expected/hoped or than the "average" experience. Sure, there are wonderful things to this, but I still grieve the loss of the dreams and hopes I had.
Next school year, she will likely finsih three grade levels. Taken out of context and at face value, this sounds ridiculous. Last year, I would have interpreted this to be the statement of a pushy mother. The truth is that I would love it if she were satisfied and thriving with one grade level each year. Another truth is that she has not been. She is happier when she is allowed to gallop through the material, so I'm preparing to allow her some galloping room next school year. I'm planning three grade levels worth of curriculum for homeschooling. If we finish only one, I will not be disappointed. I'll be thrilled that I have the upcoming work already planned, in fact. If she finishes three grade levels worth of work by January, I will quit curriuculum again until the next school year, most likely . . . and there will be more crying . . . and probably swearing, on my part.
The beginning of last year, we struggled to find a routine and system that worked for both of us. It took 2 moths to finish the grade level we had pulled her out of in December . . . and I had started from the beginning of the grade level. Apparently, we learned to work well together, because she finished the next grade level in 5 weeks. It was a rare day when she spent more than an hour and a half on school work during an entire day. This was something we did only three or four days per week. I was hardly running her hard. However, she finished the work in less time than I spent preparing it . . . only now can I think about that without crying, and merely sigh.
Around other children, my daughter runs around screaming and can seem almost like a toddler. At a recent science class, she was acting more like a fifth grader . . . I find it hard to believe that many balance this range of behavioral ages. We also deal with teenager attitudes on a regular basis. None of those behavioral patterns match the stereotypical behavior for her age.
It's a part of her that I think it wonderful. She thoroughly enjoys herself and embraces her childlike desires. She also thinks deeply and intently, which enables her to view things in a very advanced creative way. Sometimes, her insights astound me; her perspective is beautiful. In our approach to her education, it would be easy to believe that we are not allowing her to be a kid. However, she is embracing what she desire, rather than what we do - bugs, for instance. I won't get into that, beyond the fact that someone recently predicted that she will be an entimologist, which means I should learn to spell it. It is too late at night for me to bother with spelling at the moment, however.
We are learning to embrace the differences in her and also cater to them, as much as possible. For instance, her grandparents are now forbidden to send bugs home, in a jar or otherwise. However, we recently procured a hamster cage and will be letting her get and care for a hamster. More animals are not on the parents' wish list in this house, but M is obsessed with them. We will own a hamster. She decided to get rid of virtually all of her toys. This was scary and is still wierd, in my opinion. However, she doesn't play with them, and would rather sell them in a garage sale and have the money for her fish tank and other fun projects, like a hamster. We will allow her to sell or give away most or all of her toys. Maybe she's better at living the simple life than we are. . . .
I wish you all simple pleasures. Today, some of mine were time with incredible and hard-working women who I thoroughly appreciate. Some others were finding clothes in our garage sale preparations for both my daughter and myself. We are looking forward to the learning experienc of a garage sale, which is also something that our daughter requested. I'm looking forward to it, even though I have been working very hard. She has done well, also. Good night.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
varying degrees of giftedness
Doesn't everyone have varying degrees of giftedness? I think so. If you are referring to adults, few would disagree with you. Why do we expect children to be so different?
I realize that initially, children's jobs are eating, sleeping, and growing. A little later, you add things like learning to communicate and move. A little while after that, learning colors, letters, etc. However, why on earth wouldn't children immediately have different levels of affinity for different things? Isn't that part of what makes us unique and interesting?
I know several girls who were reading at an extremely advanced level before school started, to the extent that they were singled out for reading classes right at the beginning of school. In the cases I have in mind, all successfully remained in mainstreamed schools and ended up in mainstream classes at their "appropriate age level" in a local district that is fabulous with giftedness - the one our daughter attended, in fact. The girls I'm thinking of are both taller than me, and one is an adult.
Our daughter did not read early. Many have told me that their children aren't gifted because they aren't ahead in reading or math. I disagree with the logic. I also believe that generalizing like that can be damaging, and I speak from experience. I grew up the daughter of a (retired) teacher, and had to face another (scary) mother's disbelief that my mother didn't teach me to read before school started. I was shocked, confused and hurt. I wondered if I should know how to read. I wondered if I was behind or dumb. I wondered if I should be angry with my mother - she had been a teacher, after all. I must have been about 5 at the time.
I talked to my mother about it. I don't remember that exact conversation as clearly as the other mother's unfortunate approach. However, my mother assured me that she knew I was bright and that I would learn to read when I was interested. I hadn't been interested in reading, yet, and she was sure I would pick it up in plenty of time, in school or before. She was so completely unconcerned about it that I calmed down. She was right. I didn't read early, but I was always in the top reading group in school. I even went on to study foreign literature in depth . . . for fun :)
Our daughter is small and mistaken for a younger girl because of her stature. Lately, when people ask her if she is an age younger than her own, she replies that she is a ___ grader. The first time she did it, I laughed out loud, which confused the poor lady having a garage sale. I confirmed that she was in that grade and we moved on. My husband and I laughed really hard that night after bedtime when I related the story, however. I guess she is over feeling wierd for being ahead in school. I hope these experiences are hurtful to her, and that her new approach is a sign that she is confident in her identity.
I battle self-consciousness as a mother, too. When people hear her talk out and about during the school week, I get a lot of questions about why she isn't in school. When she announces her grade and age, I get a lot of judgement from people - some in facial expression, and others boldly aloud and repetitive, even from strangers. It doesn't make our unusual situation any easier and has (hopefully) taught me to be more sensitive and open-minded about others who have made different decisions than myself. I also hope that my daughter has confidence in my decision-making, as I did in my mother's.
To complicate matters, I work with many educators . . . or used to - I just quit to allow me to relax more and enjoy the experience with my daughter. Many wonderfully caring and well-meaning mothers that I have known through my work have suggested that the school system can find a solution. I disagree in the case of my daughter. Here is where I finally get back to my title.
Currently, the only thing holding back my daughter's voracious scientific appetite is her lack of confidence in (or maybe patience with) math. She is several grades further in science than math. She is almost as advanced in reading as she is in science, but her grammar and hand-writing are at the level of her math. When there is a several grade-range difference in subjects, especially inter-related ones, and you have a complicated lesson plan and educational challenge. For instance, how do you learn about physics and chemistry without math at a similar grade level? How do you write appropriate book reports on advanced literature when you are still mastering grammar and verb conjugation? I believe that the areas where she is most interested are the same areas where she is most motivated/gifted. My approach has been to encourage her (in the most positive way I'm capable) to close the gap between her skill levels wherever it's appropriate.
My daughter is motivated by milestones, which is part of the reason we are keeping track of a grade level. While I don't want her to feel pushed to get further ahead, we are assigning her the grade level of her lowest-achievements. For some, this would be focusing on the negative. For her, this is incentive and goal-setting. Knowing that she can have a new milestone met makes learning less attractive subjects more fun. I'm also being open with her about how those skills can help open opporutnities for her in the subjects she is most interested in, like science. If something seems unnecessary to me, I am not motivated to learn it. If something is useful and relevant, I am interested and motivated. I simply point out the relevence and use of the information she is less interested in. That approach wouldn't work with every kid, but it fits her.
Recently, a woman pressed that she could just skip a grade (hearing what grade she is officially in - the math and grammar grade). This woman is very caring and has genuine concern for me and my family. However, it's not that simple. I wasn't in a situation where I could explain it to her, and am too tired to get into it now. I include this only as a little insight into my world and regular interactions. There's a reason I'm always tired. It's not that people don't care, but the way they try to help isn't always helpful.
People assume that I am against the education system. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is true or not. I always intended to use the public school system for my child(ren), just as I used it. She was at a fabulous school. However, I believe that the government is making it difficult for schools and teachers to individualize learning. Since I believe kids are highly individual, I consider this to be a significant problem in the modern education system. It has changed a lot since I was in school. I still think that the mainstream schools are the right choice for some kids. I don't expect the government to address my every need, including the education my daughter. My biggest challenge right now is overcoming my anger with a system that doesn't address the needs of my child and calls itself "no child left behind." That phrase doesn't match our experience, and we are not alone. I have abundant respect, admiration and gratitude for teachers and school personnel. We have been blessed, surrounded by amazing professionals in the education system throughout our experience. Unfortunately, it still didn't work for us. I thank God so many wonderful people are working hard to keep the education system the best it can be within the regulations they have been given ~ through their occupation within the schools.
I realize that initially, children's jobs are eating, sleeping, and growing. A little later, you add things like learning to communicate and move. A little while after that, learning colors, letters, etc. However, why on earth wouldn't children immediately have different levels of affinity for different things? Isn't that part of what makes us unique and interesting?
I know several girls who were reading at an extremely advanced level before school started, to the extent that they were singled out for reading classes right at the beginning of school. In the cases I have in mind, all successfully remained in mainstreamed schools and ended up in mainstream classes at their "appropriate age level" in a local district that is fabulous with giftedness - the one our daughter attended, in fact. The girls I'm thinking of are both taller than me, and one is an adult.
Our daughter did not read early. Many have told me that their children aren't gifted because they aren't ahead in reading or math. I disagree with the logic. I also believe that generalizing like that can be damaging, and I speak from experience. I grew up the daughter of a (retired) teacher, and had to face another (scary) mother's disbelief that my mother didn't teach me to read before school started. I was shocked, confused and hurt. I wondered if I should know how to read. I wondered if I was behind or dumb. I wondered if I should be angry with my mother - she had been a teacher, after all. I must have been about 5 at the time.
I talked to my mother about it. I don't remember that exact conversation as clearly as the other mother's unfortunate approach. However, my mother assured me that she knew I was bright and that I would learn to read when I was interested. I hadn't been interested in reading, yet, and she was sure I would pick it up in plenty of time, in school or before. She was so completely unconcerned about it that I calmed down. She was right. I didn't read early, but I was always in the top reading group in school. I even went on to study foreign literature in depth . . . for fun :)
Our daughter is small and mistaken for a younger girl because of her stature. Lately, when people ask her if she is an age younger than her own, she replies that she is a ___ grader. The first time she did it, I laughed out loud, which confused the poor lady having a garage sale. I confirmed that she was in that grade and we moved on. My husband and I laughed really hard that night after bedtime when I related the story, however. I guess she is over feeling wierd for being ahead in school. I hope these experiences are hurtful to her, and that her new approach is a sign that she is confident in her identity.
I battle self-consciousness as a mother, too. When people hear her talk out and about during the school week, I get a lot of questions about why she isn't in school. When she announces her grade and age, I get a lot of judgement from people - some in facial expression, and others boldly aloud and repetitive, even from strangers. It doesn't make our unusual situation any easier and has (hopefully) taught me to be more sensitive and open-minded about others who have made different decisions than myself. I also hope that my daughter has confidence in my decision-making, as I did in my mother's.
To complicate matters, I work with many educators . . . or used to - I just quit to allow me to relax more and enjoy the experience with my daughter. Many wonderfully caring and well-meaning mothers that I have known through my work have suggested that the school system can find a solution. I disagree in the case of my daughter. Here is where I finally get back to my title.
Currently, the only thing holding back my daughter's voracious scientific appetite is her lack of confidence in (or maybe patience with) math. She is several grades further in science than math. She is almost as advanced in reading as she is in science, but her grammar and hand-writing are at the level of her math. When there is a several grade-range difference in subjects, especially inter-related ones, and you have a complicated lesson plan and educational challenge. For instance, how do you learn about physics and chemistry without math at a similar grade level? How do you write appropriate book reports on advanced literature when you are still mastering grammar and verb conjugation? I believe that the areas where she is most interested are the same areas where she is most motivated/gifted. My approach has been to encourage her (in the most positive way I'm capable) to close the gap between her skill levels wherever it's appropriate.
My daughter is motivated by milestones, which is part of the reason we are keeping track of a grade level. While I don't want her to feel pushed to get further ahead, we are assigning her the grade level of her lowest-achievements. For some, this would be focusing on the negative. For her, this is incentive and goal-setting. Knowing that she can have a new milestone met makes learning less attractive subjects more fun. I'm also being open with her about how those skills can help open opporutnities for her in the subjects she is most interested in, like science. If something seems unnecessary to me, I am not motivated to learn it. If something is useful and relevant, I am interested and motivated. I simply point out the relevence and use of the information she is less interested in. That approach wouldn't work with every kid, but it fits her.
Recently, a woman pressed that she could just skip a grade (hearing what grade she is officially in - the math and grammar grade). This woman is very caring and has genuine concern for me and my family. However, it's not that simple. I wasn't in a situation where I could explain it to her, and am too tired to get into it now. I include this only as a little insight into my world and regular interactions. There's a reason I'm always tired. It's not that people don't care, but the way they try to help isn't always helpful.
People assume that I am against the education system. Honestly, I'm not sure if that is true or not. I always intended to use the public school system for my child(ren), just as I used it. She was at a fabulous school. However, I believe that the government is making it difficult for schools and teachers to individualize learning. Since I believe kids are highly individual, I consider this to be a significant problem in the modern education system. It has changed a lot since I was in school. I still think that the mainstream schools are the right choice for some kids. I don't expect the government to address my every need, including the education my daughter. My biggest challenge right now is overcoming my anger with a system that doesn't address the needs of my child and calls itself "no child left behind." That phrase doesn't match our experience, and we are not alone. I have abundant respect, admiration and gratitude for teachers and school personnel. We have been blessed, surrounded by amazing professionals in the education system throughout our experience. Unfortunately, it still didn't work for us. I thank God so many wonderful people are working hard to keep the education system the best it can be within the regulations they have been given ~ through their occupation within the schools.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Dumbing Down AKA Fitting In AKA Mirroring
Recently, my daughter and I spent time with dear friends. They are the kind of people we always feel close to, even though we don't see them often enough. The family has two children, one the same age as M, and the other a bit younger. It was fascinating to see them all interact.
Their living arrangements and lifestyle are drastically different than our own ~ basically suburban vs rural. M was loving the whole thing, but had not spent a lot of time around them for the last couple of years, as we had only seen them briefly a couple of times during that period. It was fun and curious to see her acting really young. . . . most of the time :)
As we were learning about some of the aspects of living, M would be very interested, then stare off into space. I think this might have been frustrating or dissapointing to Papa (as they call him). I assured him that she was enjoying it. At night, we would talk in bed before lights out and it was clear she was listening. Talking in her sleep, she said, "it depends upon the altitude and longitude." When asked about it the next morning, she cited something she had read, mixing up the words altitude and latitude, but still something you don't expect coming out of a little girl . . . while she's asleep, especially!
A couple of times, the girl I'm more used to popped out of her mouth. There were surprised, pleased expressions from the adults, but M looked almost like she'd been caught. I have not seen this around too many kids and it made me curious. Was she doing this to enjoy the children and try and fit in?
I like the term mirroring, which is a marketing and sales term. In a sense, you learn about the person you are working with and mirror their approach or beliefs or feelings in a show of understanding and similarity with the person. It is very affective in sales, and I think many of us do this in our relationships, as well. It doesn't seem like a stretch to say we market ourselves to others. You need only think about clothing, hair and makeup to get a start of how we all do this. It's not as self-centered as this sounds, either. The goal is largely to make the other person feel comfortable in the interaction, and finding common ground to talk about. Simply put, it's being friendly.
When we first heard M was gifted, we were told that girls often "dumb down" to fit in. I think the term has very negative connotations, but agree that it happens. In fact, I think there are positive aspects to it. M has as much fun playing with preschoolers as anyone. Clearly, her cognitive abilites surpass preschoolers, but I adore her exuberance as she plays with preschoolers! She flocks to them and they love her. When they talk, it's often as many sound effects as words, and she's certainly not talking about longitute or altitude with them ;)
To prove my point about it being a positive thing, I offer an example of someone who cannot do it at all. Sheldon, from the Big Bang Theory (a TV show). This character is brilliant on at least one level. There are many level where he is not at all intelligent, however. It's part of why he's hysterical and why so many love the show and laugh so hard! A more realistic/everyday illustration might be hobbies. I enjoy needlework and have a group of friends who are interested in doing a lot of crafty things. However, my husband would rather be just about anywhere else when we start doing that. When I want to hang out with him, we get together with people and play fun board games or just hang out and have a meal. It's just that simple. Another example from the opposite end came from a friend who recently told me she was visiting a monastery and started talking about evolution . . . she was very glad they were under vows of silence and that she couldn't read their thoughts when it sunk in!!!
Here's the footnote for me. M needs a place where she can be with kids that do want to talk about latitude and longitude as if it were everyday conversation for everyone, as well as the other places. It's a big part of her, and I have seen the impact of having those kids in our lives - it's amazing and critical to her happiness and development. However, I still plan to enjoy watching her play with preschoolers with young, innocent abandon. I want to make sure she gets enough of both. I have also been putting things in place so that I get enough time with other people who share my passions. Part of being a good mother is setting a good example, so I have started to embrace hobbies that make me smile again. It doesn't have to be about deep or heavy things. Sometimes it's about knitting a scarf :)
Their living arrangements and lifestyle are drastically different than our own ~ basically suburban vs rural. M was loving the whole thing, but had not spent a lot of time around them for the last couple of years, as we had only seen them briefly a couple of times during that period. It was fun and curious to see her acting really young. . . . most of the time :)
As we were learning about some of the aspects of living, M would be very interested, then stare off into space. I think this might have been frustrating or dissapointing to Papa (as they call him). I assured him that she was enjoying it. At night, we would talk in bed before lights out and it was clear she was listening. Talking in her sleep, she said, "it depends upon the altitude and longitude." When asked about it the next morning, she cited something she had read, mixing up the words altitude and latitude, but still something you don't expect coming out of a little girl . . . while she's asleep, especially!
A couple of times, the girl I'm more used to popped out of her mouth. There were surprised, pleased expressions from the adults, but M looked almost like she'd been caught. I have not seen this around too many kids and it made me curious. Was she doing this to enjoy the children and try and fit in?
I like the term mirroring, which is a marketing and sales term. In a sense, you learn about the person you are working with and mirror their approach or beliefs or feelings in a show of understanding and similarity with the person. It is very affective in sales, and I think many of us do this in our relationships, as well. It doesn't seem like a stretch to say we market ourselves to others. You need only think about clothing, hair and makeup to get a start of how we all do this. It's not as self-centered as this sounds, either. The goal is largely to make the other person feel comfortable in the interaction, and finding common ground to talk about. Simply put, it's being friendly.
When we first heard M was gifted, we were told that girls often "dumb down" to fit in. I think the term has very negative connotations, but agree that it happens. In fact, I think there are positive aspects to it. M has as much fun playing with preschoolers as anyone. Clearly, her cognitive abilites surpass preschoolers, but I adore her exuberance as she plays with preschoolers! She flocks to them and they love her. When they talk, it's often as many sound effects as words, and she's certainly not talking about longitute or altitude with them ;)
To prove my point about it being a positive thing, I offer an example of someone who cannot do it at all. Sheldon, from the Big Bang Theory (a TV show). This character is brilliant on at least one level. There are many level where he is not at all intelligent, however. It's part of why he's hysterical and why so many love the show and laugh so hard! A more realistic/everyday illustration might be hobbies. I enjoy needlework and have a group of friends who are interested in doing a lot of crafty things. However, my husband would rather be just about anywhere else when we start doing that. When I want to hang out with him, we get together with people and play fun board games or just hang out and have a meal. It's just that simple. Another example from the opposite end came from a friend who recently told me she was visiting a monastery and started talking about evolution . . . she was very glad they were under vows of silence and that she couldn't read their thoughts when it sunk in!!!
Here's the footnote for me. M needs a place where she can be with kids that do want to talk about latitude and longitude as if it were everyday conversation for everyone, as well as the other places. It's a big part of her, and I have seen the impact of having those kids in our lives - it's amazing and critical to her happiness and development. However, I still plan to enjoy watching her play with preschoolers with young, innocent abandon. I want to make sure she gets enough of both. I have also been putting things in place so that I get enough time with other people who share my passions. Part of being a good mother is setting a good example, so I have started to embrace hobbies that make me smile again. It doesn't have to be about deep or heavy things. Sometimes it's about knitting a scarf :)
Friday, May 4, 2012
Coincidence?
When we met with Dr Ruf, she said her book was almost entitled "A Nation of Geniuses," and I'm thinking it would have been very true.
"In this life, there are very few coincidences" ~ from the 39 Clues Cahills vs Vespers, but I don't remember which one right now. We were told how rare our daughter is in so many ways, and from various angles, but I'm beginning to think she's more common than we thought. She is one-of-a-kind, as all of God's children are, but . . . I was in a conversation at a local swim school recently with two other women. One of them was a highly gifted child not so long ago, and the other one has a highly gifted son. Out of three random people, that doesn't seem like coincidence. We hired a man to help us with a home repair, and got his name from an old friend. As my daughter talked his ear off and asked a bunch of questions, the topic of giftedness came up. He has a son who is twice exceptional, as well (gifted with a learning/behavioral challenge). I had never met any of these people before, but happened upon them . . . outside of the giftedness circles we are starting to find. I simply don't believe it's extremely rare.
Some people have told me that their children were IQ tested as a part of consultation for other things. Most often, it involves behavioral challenges, but not every time. This doesn't convince me. I have met many people who had psychiatrists or even pediatric psychiatrists test their kids falsely low on IQ. The problem is that gifted kids actually think differently in process from other kids, and it can come out in ways that are misundertstood by people who don't specialize in that area. I know of too many cases where kids were later tested with much higher scores when they found a specialist that understood their thought process.
What about people who will never understand multi-variable calculus, in-depth literary analysis, scientific research, or other areas that are considered gifted spheres? I believe many of those people are also highly gifted, even if the label doesn't fit them precisely. I'm recalling a Reba song lyric from "God's Will." "I never got to tell her that the boy showed me the truth. In crayon red on notebook paper, he'd written me and God love you." We can learn so much from all people, if we are only willing to see it.
It saddens me that kids in any sphere, or adults, are misunderstood. I pray they will realize the rich experience of being understood and appreciated. I also want to capture the messages they have to tell me. When people are misunderstood, I fear important things get lost or missed . . .
I don't mean to sound depressed. Part of our prioritizing decisions includes me making homeschooling M my full-time occupation. This Spring has been especially chaotic as I continued my work while homeschooling. If she were going to a school in the Fall, my thought was that I wanted to have my work continue through the other life transitions. Now that we have decided to homeschool longer, I have given notice. While parts of my contemplation make me sad, I am profoundly grateful to have time to contemplate them. I hope to soak up as much of the wonderful time with my daughter as I can, and am grateful that we are in a position to make this change. There are many right answers. This is our right answer for now.
"In this life, there are very few coincidences" ~ from the 39 Clues Cahills vs Vespers, but I don't remember which one right now. We were told how rare our daughter is in so many ways, and from various angles, but I'm beginning to think she's more common than we thought. She is one-of-a-kind, as all of God's children are, but . . . I was in a conversation at a local swim school recently with two other women. One of them was a highly gifted child not so long ago, and the other one has a highly gifted son. Out of three random people, that doesn't seem like coincidence. We hired a man to help us with a home repair, and got his name from an old friend. As my daughter talked his ear off and asked a bunch of questions, the topic of giftedness came up. He has a son who is twice exceptional, as well (gifted with a learning/behavioral challenge). I had never met any of these people before, but happened upon them . . . outside of the giftedness circles we are starting to find. I simply don't believe it's extremely rare.
Some people have told me that their children were IQ tested as a part of consultation for other things. Most often, it involves behavioral challenges, but not every time. This doesn't convince me. I have met many people who had psychiatrists or even pediatric psychiatrists test their kids falsely low on IQ. The problem is that gifted kids actually think differently in process from other kids, and it can come out in ways that are misundertstood by people who don't specialize in that area. I know of too many cases where kids were later tested with much higher scores when they found a specialist that understood their thought process.
What about people who will never understand multi-variable calculus, in-depth literary analysis, scientific research, or other areas that are considered gifted spheres? I believe many of those people are also highly gifted, even if the label doesn't fit them precisely. I'm recalling a Reba song lyric from "God's Will." "I never got to tell her that the boy showed me the truth. In crayon red on notebook paper, he'd written me and God love you." We can learn so much from all people, if we are only willing to see it.
It saddens me that kids in any sphere, or adults, are misunderstood. I pray they will realize the rich experience of being understood and appreciated. I also want to capture the messages they have to tell me. When people are misunderstood, I fear important things get lost or missed . . .
I don't mean to sound depressed. Part of our prioritizing decisions includes me making homeschooling M my full-time occupation. This Spring has been especially chaotic as I continued my work while homeschooling. If she were going to a school in the Fall, my thought was that I wanted to have my work continue through the other life transitions. Now that we have decided to homeschool longer, I have given notice. While parts of my contemplation make me sad, I am profoundly grateful to have time to contemplate them. I hope to soak up as much of the wonderful time with my daughter as I can, and am grateful that we are in a position to make this change. There are many right answers. This is our right answer for now.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Redoing Priorities
This week has been crazier than most. It makes me more convinced than ever that this new information about M is a much-needed opportunity to reassess our choices in many areas. As new seasons begin, it is very easy for me to add things without removing anything. This causes chaos and stress, vows to change, and then regret that I didn't follow through with the last vow to change. I'm there again. . . . sigh.
There are so many wonderful people in our life that love us and care about us. The result is that they want to help, which is really wonderful and warn of them. Have you ever noticed that in yourself? What is most difficult for me are the times that I want to help, but know that I cannot. Sadly, while we are still learning about our daughter, or re-learning, we are not in a great position to know what might help. Many are giving us ideas with wonderfully loving intentions, yet I am overwhelmed with possibilities and most of them must be sifted out. The situation frustrates me, so I am trying not to let this be misinterpreted as the people frustrating me. Honestly, there are a couple of people who are frustrating me, but not most of them ;)
We have received recommendations for many different schools that have had wonderful results in other children, and I am thrilled that has gone well for them. I can think of examples from my own life where I have seen miraculous changes that simply would go differently for our daughter. This leaves me very tired. Worse, I'm losing the resaources required to even look into many of them. I intend no disrespect, but cannot manage the amount of information that I must look into, let alone some that might be helpful . . . at least for now. It reminds me of a recent conversation in the car with M, actually. She is better than I am, thankfully. I shall aspire to be more like her.
after much repetitive conversation:
"I really need you to stop talking about that. I'm feeling pushed." ~me
a tense silence
"Mom? I'm going to thank you for something. Mom, thank you for telling me all about ______ and how it will mean [less work for me]. I really appreciate you telling me about that even though it was overwhelming me."
Such a sweet girl. If you are one of the people who has been desiring deeply to help reduce my overwhelm, I hope you can know that I appreciate your intention, even if I don't have the resources to respond how I would like to, ideally. I have a lot to learn from my daughter. Homeschooling is the best option for us right now. I am going to do my best to take things a step at a time. This summer is planned, largely with learning camps for M. I will have time sitting and waiting, but I don't mind. I will spend that time reviewing curriculum ideas that I have gathered for next year and trying to be better prepared in the Fall. I also picked up some things for knitting projects that I can work on while I wait, and I'm sure that iTunes will be getting plenty of my recreational spending, since audio books are a favorite pasttime of mine - especially while my hands are busy crafting :)
In the meantime, I've decided to take some time off work for part of the summer, since I'm habitually exhausted, and I need to change that. We have also been talking about moving to a smaller house closer to the places we are driving so frequently. Moving sounds like an awful lot of work, but the end result sounds easier, so we're still talking about it. If we do move, I'll have lots of ideas of what people can do to help! :)
There are so many wonderful people in our life that love us and care about us. The result is that they want to help, which is really wonderful and warn of them. Have you ever noticed that in yourself? What is most difficult for me are the times that I want to help, but know that I cannot. Sadly, while we are still learning about our daughter, or re-learning, we are not in a great position to know what might help. Many are giving us ideas with wonderfully loving intentions, yet I am overwhelmed with possibilities and most of them must be sifted out. The situation frustrates me, so I am trying not to let this be misinterpreted as the people frustrating me. Honestly, there are a couple of people who are frustrating me, but not most of them ;)
We have received recommendations for many different schools that have had wonderful results in other children, and I am thrilled that has gone well for them. I can think of examples from my own life where I have seen miraculous changes that simply would go differently for our daughter. This leaves me very tired. Worse, I'm losing the resaources required to even look into many of them. I intend no disrespect, but cannot manage the amount of information that I must look into, let alone some that might be helpful . . . at least for now. It reminds me of a recent conversation in the car with M, actually. She is better than I am, thankfully. I shall aspire to be more like her.
after much repetitive conversation:
"I really need you to stop talking about that. I'm feeling pushed." ~me
a tense silence
"Mom? I'm going to thank you for something. Mom, thank you for telling me all about ______ and how it will mean [less work for me]. I really appreciate you telling me about that even though it was overwhelming me."
Such a sweet girl. If you are one of the people who has been desiring deeply to help reduce my overwhelm, I hope you can know that I appreciate your intention, even if I don't have the resources to respond how I would like to, ideally. I have a lot to learn from my daughter. Homeschooling is the best option for us right now. I am going to do my best to take things a step at a time. This summer is planned, largely with learning camps for M. I will have time sitting and waiting, but I don't mind. I will spend that time reviewing curriculum ideas that I have gathered for next year and trying to be better prepared in the Fall. I also picked up some things for knitting projects that I can work on while I wait, and I'm sure that iTunes will be getting plenty of my recreational spending, since audio books are a favorite pasttime of mine - especially while my hands are busy crafting :)
In the meantime, I've decided to take some time off work for part of the summer, since I'm habitually exhausted, and I need to change that. We have also been talking about moving to a smaller house closer to the places we are driving so frequently. Moving sounds like an awful lot of work, but the end result sounds easier, so we're still talking about it. If we do move, I'll have lots of ideas of what people can do to help! :)
Sunday, April 22, 2012
What grade are you in?
Today, I made it back to church for the first time in months. I am blessed to be a part of a fabulous church. I am also blessed to be in relationships with many Christians outside of the walls of that church, as well. Since this school year has been incredibly overwhelming for me, I simply took Sunday mornings to myself, in an attempt to spend some solitude with worship music and quiet, and sometimes just stay in bed. These are all things that weren't happening other times.
A few people have challenged how long I have been away from the services, including ministers, church members, friends outside the church and my husband. I'll admit that I have been angry with God, and since the Psalms are full of King David being honest about his less attractive, not-at-all-flowery feelings, I believe that God is OK with that. I will not claim to be perfect, since that would contradict being human, and because I'm not quite that proud . . . However, while I have been absent from church, I have not shut out my faith or God.
My daughter finished another grade since the last time she had been to church. She has been going with my husband regularly, but Sunday school has been a confusing place in silly ways. See one of my previous posts about how my husband didn't answer the teacher when asked what grade she was in (so they knew where to seat her), but it has not been crystal clear for our daughter in other ways. The spiritual teaching and Scripture has been very comfortable for her, so it makes me laugh that we have drama about which class she should be attending. It seems like we sweat the small stuff so much more than the big stuff.
While she is aware of which grade she is in (because this is very important to her), one of her cousins challenged her only the day before. This cousin's parents have been wonderful about the situation. However, these kids are the same age, and the idea that some homeschooled kids change grades at different times was something that hadn't been explored. First, I was told that my daughter said she's in ___ grade, then the other mother was consulted with an expression of disbelief on the face of her child. It was explained, but my daughter felt self-conscious. We are still new to this, and it's natural to feel less-than-confident.
At Sunday school, she rushed back out on the verge of tears, asking where she should go for class. A wonderful teacher came out to coax her inside. I told the teacher that she had exciting news and some confusion to share. From there, it went very well. They celebrated her accomplishment and encouraged her to go sit with the friends she had been sitting with all school year, saying she could switch to a different group in the Fall if she wants to. We will continue to have many situations that are just more complicated for us than other people because of our less-common approach to education, even though it is the most effective one for us. I am thankful that our church has multi-age rooms for Sunday school. The grades she is likely to complete next school year are all in the same room, which makes things less complicated.
Yes, I did mean to include the plural above. I felt judged by some today, as I felt seen as a pushy mom. These people are loving and supportive. They are not perfect, and neither am I. However, it was one more place that has mixed comfort levels in dealing with all of this. Our daughter also begged to take a class for first communion two years earlier than recommended. The church staff was wonderfully supportive and our daughter took it in. I am surprised and inspired by her approach to faith.
I hesitate to even include this, as I am sure I will be judged. Most likely, our daughter will finish 3 more grades by next Spring. The defensive part of me feels the need to explain that her choice of fun includes math, geography, and every kind of science. She is quite advanced in science, I'm learning. This is the biggest proof that the acceleration is not about me. I love literature, languages, math, the arts and more. Science is not my thing. I did well in science classes, but chose to discontinue studying it as soon as possible. My daughter cannot get enough science. I am not pushing her. However, if I hold her back, she will shut down and have serious side-effects. Yet, I'm seen as a bad mother if I'm honest and open about it with people. One well-meaning woman told me today, "you need to slow down." I sincerely wish I could. My daughter, however, will not.
One ministry couple at church today is a fabulous example of the comfort and support. I have received gentle private messages on facebook from the husband, asking how I'm doing. There was no sense of being guilted about being conspicuously absent. I am so grateful for that. I was open about what I'm going through - they have the link to this blog, and more information besides. The wife is the most breathtaking woman I have ever seen - I totally want her hair and her aura/presence. Today, she gently asked how I am, gave me big hugs, listened intently, encouraged me and reassured me in my decisions and actions - again, no guilt or pressure. I am in tears just typing this - it's amazing to be loved like that. Isn't that how church and Christ's love should be? I'll have to think about why I didn't anticipate it . . . For now, I'm resting in gratitude and support.
Other ministers there have been equally wonderful. One met my husband for lunch and has been checking in with him pretty regularly. He was also a powerful reassuring presence in my life when it all started to get overwhelming. He just gets it. Yet another minister had the perfect story to tell our daughter today, from her own life, but directly related to what is going on in our home. She is one of the most powerful transmitters of God's presence I have met. She's a modern day prophet who might not even see herself as that. I have experienced this with her on multiple occasions. It's almost scary. Ok, sometimes it is scary.
While it was wonderful to return, it was disappointing to see how the changes in our lives have affected this facet of our lives, as well. There is a huge part of our life that some people cannot wrap their heads around. I was one of them only months ago, but it's still disappointing to see. It just makes it a bit more uncomfortable, and I have enough trouble sitting down and experiencing God, rather than working on my to do list, without even more things to digest and process. . . Maybe a subconscious reason I was putting off the return to services was facing this fact. It's one of the reasons the support from the gorgeous woman is so precious to me. It felt unconditional, and sometimes it's hard to comprehend that in this world. All of these changes have made me feel that much more judged and less accepted, and I feel like a starving person entering a dinner party when I'm in the midst of someone who simply desires to support me exactly where I am. As I broke down in front of this woman ane her husband, what came out of my mouth was, "I sobbed for days when we found out. All I ever wanted was for her to feel normal. This is how she feels normal, though." It still feels abnormal to me. Did I spend my whole life trying to fit some definition of normal that doesn't really fit? At the moment, I'm more concerned with making sure my daughter feels normal, and comfortable with who she is - especially the ways that God made her special.
A recent favorite song is "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns. The overall message is summed up in this line, "Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours." I'm certain that God is using this experience to help me glimpse His heart. My precious daughter is the focus of all of these changes and I work so hard to insulate her from the negative and potentially scarring parts. I need to remember that I am also a precious daughter to the King, and that He is hurting for me as my parent . . . and the Father of my daughter, as well . . . Perhaps "the world is on their way to you, but they're tripping over me. I'm always looking down, but never looking up. I'm so double-minded." [from the same song]. This experience is certainly opening my eyes in many ways. I'm terrified about what He might have in mind for me to do with this experience. However, if I can help others, I will try to do it without tripping anyone too badly. . .
One of my daughter's memory verses came out "In this world you will have trouble, but fear not because He wins!" I love her tranlsation. She asked what "overcoming the world" meant, and then summed it up like that . . . years ago, yet it feels like last week. This would be a good time to insert "Fight Another Day" by Addison Road. When I just want to crawl back in bed, that song gets me up and moving . . . dancing, actually. May God Bless your day and all of your interactions today. Lord, please help me be more like the gorgeous woman that filled me up today.
A few people have challenged how long I have been away from the services, including ministers, church members, friends outside the church and my husband. I'll admit that I have been angry with God, and since the Psalms are full of King David being honest about his less attractive, not-at-all-flowery feelings, I believe that God is OK with that. I will not claim to be perfect, since that would contradict being human, and because I'm not quite that proud . . . However, while I have been absent from church, I have not shut out my faith or God.
My daughter finished another grade since the last time she had been to church. She has been going with my husband regularly, but Sunday school has been a confusing place in silly ways. See one of my previous posts about how my husband didn't answer the teacher when asked what grade she was in (so they knew where to seat her), but it has not been crystal clear for our daughter in other ways. The spiritual teaching and Scripture has been very comfortable for her, so it makes me laugh that we have drama about which class she should be attending. It seems like we sweat the small stuff so much more than the big stuff.
While she is aware of which grade she is in (because this is very important to her), one of her cousins challenged her only the day before. This cousin's parents have been wonderful about the situation. However, these kids are the same age, and the idea that some homeschooled kids change grades at different times was something that hadn't been explored. First, I was told that my daughter said she's in ___ grade, then the other mother was consulted with an expression of disbelief on the face of her child. It was explained, but my daughter felt self-conscious. We are still new to this, and it's natural to feel less-than-confident.
At Sunday school, she rushed back out on the verge of tears, asking where she should go for class. A wonderful teacher came out to coax her inside. I told the teacher that she had exciting news and some confusion to share. From there, it went very well. They celebrated her accomplishment and encouraged her to go sit with the friends she had been sitting with all school year, saying she could switch to a different group in the Fall if she wants to. We will continue to have many situations that are just more complicated for us than other people because of our less-common approach to education, even though it is the most effective one for us. I am thankful that our church has multi-age rooms for Sunday school. The grades she is likely to complete next school year are all in the same room, which makes things less complicated.
Yes, I did mean to include the plural above. I felt judged by some today, as I felt seen as a pushy mom. These people are loving and supportive. They are not perfect, and neither am I. However, it was one more place that has mixed comfort levels in dealing with all of this. Our daughter also begged to take a class for first communion two years earlier than recommended. The church staff was wonderfully supportive and our daughter took it in. I am surprised and inspired by her approach to faith.
I hesitate to even include this, as I am sure I will be judged. Most likely, our daughter will finish 3 more grades by next Spring. The defensive part of me feels the need to explain that her choice of fun includes math, geography, and every kind of science. She is quite advanced in science, I'm learning. This is the biggest proof that the acceleration is not about me. I love literature, languages, math, the arts and more. Science is not my thing. I did well in science classes, but chose to discontinue studying it as soon as possible. My daughter cannot get enough science. I am not pushing her. However, if I hold her back, she will shut down and have serious side-effects. Yet, I'm seen as a bad mother if I'm honest and open about it with people. One well-meaning woman told me today, "you need to slow down." I sincerely wish I could. My daughter, however, will not.
One ministry couple at church today is a fabulous example of the comfort and support. I have received gentle private messages on facebook from the husband, asking how I'm doing. There was no sense of being guilted about being conspicuously absent. I am so grateful for that. I was open about what I'm going through - they have the link to this blog, and more information besides. The wife is the most breathtaking woman I have ever seen - I totally want her hair and her aura/presence. Today, she gently asked how I am, gave me big hugs, listened intently, encouraged me and reassured me in my decisions and actions - again, no guilt or pressure. I am in tears just typing this - it's amazing to be loved like that. Isn't that how church and Christ's love should be? I'll have to think about why I didn't anticipate it . . . For now, I'm resting in gratitude and support.
Other ministers there have been equally wonderful. One met my husband for lunch and has been checking in with him pretty regularly. He was also a powerful reassuring presence in my life when it all started to get overwhelming. He just gets it. Yet another minister had the perfect story to tell our daughter today, from her own life, but directly related to what is going on in our home. She is one of the most powerful transmitters of God's presence I have met. She's a modern day prophet who might not even see herself as that. I have experienced this with her on multiple occasions. It's almost scary. Ok, sometimes it is scary.
While it was wonderful to return, it was disappointing to see how the changes in our lives have affected this facet of our lives, as well. There is a huge part of our life that some people cannot wrap their heads around. I was one of them only months ago, but it's still disappointing to see. It just makes it a bit more uncomfortable, and I have enough trouble sitting down and experiencing God, rather than working on my to do list, without even more things to digest and process. . . Maybe a subconscious reason I was putting off the return to services was facing this fact. It's one of the reasons the support from the gorgeous woman is so precious to me. It felt unconditional, and sometimes it's hard to comprehend that in this world. All of these changes have made me feel that much more judged and less accepted, and I feel like a starving person entering a dinner party when I'm in the midst of someone who simply desires to support me exactly where I am. As I broke down in front of this woman ane her husband, what came out of my mouth was, "I sobbed for days when we found out. All I ever wanted was for her to feel normal. This is how she feels normal, though." It still feels abnormal to me. Did I spend my whole life trying to fit some definition of normal that doesn't really fit? At the moment, I'm more concerned with making sure my daughter feels normal, and comfortable with who she is - especially the ways that God made her special.
A recent favorite song is "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by Casting Crowns. The overall message is summed up in this line, "Jesus, friend of sinners, break our hearts for what breaks yours." I'm certain that God is using this experience to help me glimpse His heart. My precious daughter is the focus of all of these changes and I work so hard to insulate her from the negative and potentially scarring parts. I need to remember that I am also a precious daughter to the King, and that He is hurting for me as my parent . . . and the Father of my daughter, as well . . . Perhaps "the world is on their way to you, but they're tripping over me. I'm always looking down, but never looking up. I'm so double-minded." [from the same song]. This experience is certainly opening my eyes in many ways. I'm terrified about what He might have in mind for me to do with this experience. However, if I can help others, I will try to do it without tripping anyone too badly. . .
One of my daughter's memory verses came out "In this world you will have trouble, but fear not because He wins!" I love her tranlsation. She asked what "overcoming the world" meant, and then summed it up like that . . . years ago, yet it feels like last week. This would be a good time to insert "Fight Another Day" by Addison Road. When I just want to crawl back in bed, that song gets me up and moving . . . dancing, actually. May God Bless your day and all of your interactions today. Lord, please help me be more like the gorgeous woman that filled me up today.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Now that I've processed . . .
I am someone who needs quite and time to process information and really let it sink in. In fact, I can be angry and have to figure out why over time. Not that I think it's something else first, but I really don't know where it is coming from at all. No doubt some of you will think this is very strange.
In the past, I've associated this with being highly introverted. I am not at all shy, and it's not the same thing. Introversion is getting energy from being alone or with a small, trusted group (like 1-2). Extroversion is getting energy from being with people . . . often, lots of them! It's a commonly misunderstood concept.
At the recent conference, I learned a bit more about the delayed processing, however. Some types are recognized as learning disabilities or disorders. We've all heard of some of these. There are also some that are extremely common in gifted children - often called twice exceptional kids :) I learned about a new on last weekend, Dysgraphia. Put as simply as possible, it involves a difficulty for children to think and write at the same time. It has impact beyond writing, however. As the symptoms were laid out for me, I believe our daughter has that. I think I do, as well. Even more interesting, I hear about most of these symptoms in the parent room of our gifted coop all the time, but we tend to associate it with giftedness, frustration and boredom (since those are prevalent obstacles for us). It was fascinating!
There is scientific evidence for people feeling like they have whatever they hear about, and I know I am susceptible. I don't believe that is the case this time, however. I went to a talk entitled "Smart kids who hate to write." I am challenged with teaching writing to my daugher, even though she LOVES reading. Handwriting is frustrating for her, and I had thought maybe we'd just focus on typing and not worry too much about it. I hear about that a lot from parents of gifted children, especially. The assumption was that their brains move so fast that slowing down to write is frustrating and feels like a waste of time. I'm not sure that's it anymore.
Dianne Craft had a class of kids, mostly boys, who were highly intelligent (she stated IQs around 135) but were writing at a Kindergarten to 2nd grade level, even in middle school. She was trained in this and had a class full of them. At some point she stumbled across information that led her to a simple and profoundly effective system called "Writing 8" and "Right Brain Writing" by her. . . While it was a short talk and it sounds like new information is still coming in, there is a block of kids crossing the midline between right brain and left brain in some instances. Many of these kids have a different sides dominant in different areas. I happen to be left-footed and right-handed. After 15 minutes per day, 4 days per week, for 6 months to a year of this OT (Occupational Therapy), these kids were suddenly writing and lining up their math neatly and easily. They were able to work around it before, but it was taking extra energy, and they were catching and correcting themselves. Occasionally (or more), they were reversing letters, starting to write letters backwards or bottom up instead of top down, etc. Did I mention that she guarantees the program? Check it out online if you're interested - www.diannecraft.org.
My daughter does this. In fact, this morning, she had some very easy fill-in-the-blank writing work. She came to me and said, "I'm getting tired from doing so many sheets and it's hard to do my spacing." She has never said it like that before, but this points to dysgraphia, as well. My husband and I were actually pleased to hear it, as it confirmed our suspicions. No, we're not mean parents or just looking for diagnosis, and we will not be having her formally assessed. The public school systems don't recognize this particular challenge, I hear from a mother whose child was formally diagnosed - they are now homeschoolers. I digress. This situation is completely treatable and reversable. Part of my work inovolves random days with a tremendous amount of handwriting and I am almost worthless from fatigue on the days following this. I wonder if that could change for me. . .
Brain-training is something I'm fascinated with and have been as long as I can remember. The system involves retraining the connections in the brain to be more automatic and take less energy for some things most people take for granted. It goes beyong handwriting and math. Some of the boys she's worked with were suddenly fabulous at sports - it dramatically improved their hand-eye coordination. I have never been able to throw or catch in a way that didn't embarrass me. Some kids could suddently ride a bike - I know several children who struggle with this, including my own daughter. One child completely lost a stutter! For the small time investment involved, I'm excited to try it and see how it changes things for us. Then again, if our daughter moves even faster, it could get much scarier for me o.O
Remember how I said this goes beyond writing? Some of this concept has been developed from sports medicine. I'm finding sports medicine is showing up in all sorts of new (and appropriate) places in the last few years. The respect and impact this field has on others has been underestimated in the past, I believe. Exciting discoveries await us as its influence expands even further, I believe.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend and are blessed with some wonderful, deep-breath relaxing kinds of moments.
In the past, I've associated this with being highly introverted. I am not at all shy, and it's not the same thing. Introversion is getting energy from being alone or with a small, trusted group (like 1-2). Extroversion is getting energy from being with people . . . often, lots of them! It's a commonly misunderstood concept.
At the recent conference, I learned a bit more about the delayed processing, however. Some types are recognized as learning disabilities or disorders. We've all heard of some of these. There are also some that are extremely common in gifted children - often called twice exceptional kids :) I learned about a new on last weekend, Dysgraphia. Put as simply as possible, it involves a difficulty for children to think and write at the same time. It has impact beyond writing, however. As the symptoms were laid out for me, I believe our daughter has that. I think I do, as well. Even more interesting, I hear about most of these symptoms in the parent room of our gifted coop all the time, but we tend to associate it with giftedness, frustration and boredom (since those are prevalent obstacles for us). It was fascinating!
There is scientific evidence for people feeling like they have whatever they hear about, and I know I am susceptible. I don't believe that is the case this time, however. I went to a talk entitled "Smart kids who hate to write." I am challenged with teaching writing to my daugher, even though she LOVES reading. Handwriting is frustrating for her, and I had thought maybe we'd just focus on typing and not worry too much about it. I hear about that a lot from parents of gifted children, especially. The assumption was that their brains move so fast that slowing down to write is frustrating and feels like a waste of time. I'm not sure that's it anymore.
Dianne Craft had a class of kids, mostly boys, who were highly intelligent (she stated IQs around 135) but were writing at a Kindergarten to 2nd grade level, even in middle school. She was trained in this and had a class full of them. At some point she stumbled across information that led her to a simple and profoundly effective system called "Writing 8" and "Right Brain Writing" by her. . . While it was a short talk and it sounds like new information is still coming in, there is a block of kids crossing the midline between right brain and left brain in some instances. Many of these kids have a different sides dominant in different areas. I happen to be left-footed and right-handed. After 15 minutes per day, 4 days per week, for 6 months to a year of this OT (Occupational Therapy), these kids were suddenly writing and lining up their math neatly and easily. They were able to work around it before, but it was taking extra energy, and they were catching and correcting themselves. Occasionally (or more), they were reversing letters, starting to write letters backwards or bottom up instead of top down, etc. Did I mention that she guarantees the program? Check it out online if you're interested - www.diannecraft.org.
My daughter does this. In fact, this morning, she had some very easy fill-in-the-blank writing work. She came to me and said, "I'm getting tired from doing so many sheets and it's hard to do my spacing." She has never said it like that before, but this points to dysgraphia, as well. My husband and I were actually pleased to hear it, as it confirmed our suspicions. No, we're not mean parents or just looking for diagnosis, and we will not be having her formally assessed. The public school systems don't recognize this particular challenge, I hear from a mother whose child was formally diagnosed - they are now homeschoolers. I digress. This situation is completely treatable and reversable. Part of my work inovolves random days with a tremendous amount of handwriting and I am almost worthless from fatigue on the days following this. I wonder if that could change for me. . .
Brain-training is something I'm fascinated with and have been as long as I can remember. The system involves retraining the connections in the brain to be more automatic and take less energy for some things most people take for granted. It goes beyong handwriting and math. Some of the boys she's worked with were suddenly fabulous at sports - it dramatically improved their hand-eye coordination. I have never been able to throw or catch in a way that didn't embarrass me. Some kids could suddently ride a bike - I know several children who struggle with this, including my own daughter. One child completely lost a stutter! For the small time investment involved, I'm excited to try it and see how it changes things for us. Then again, if our daughter moves even faster, it could get much scarier for me o.O
Remember how I said this goes beyond writing? Some of this concept has been developed from sports medicine. I'm finding sports medicine is showing up in all sorts of new (and appropriate) places in the last few years. The respect and impact this field has on others has been underestimated in the past, I believe. Exciting discoveries await us as its influence expands even further, I believe.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend and are blessed with some wonderful, deep-breath relaxing kinds of moments.
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