Summer Reading programs - rewards are hard?!

Around here, we like to take advantage of the summer reading programs. After all, it's essentially just free stuff we collect. M reads constantly anyway, so it's a matter of filling out a form and maybe doing a bit of coloring. Today, we turned one of those forms in to a local library. The librarian was very sweet and excited. She asked if it had been hard, or if all that reading had been done at the beginning of the summer. M seemed disinterested in the conversation. That persistent librarian asked what she had chosen to read. I could see a mental list of all the titles flashing through her head and M got completely overwhelmed, then said, "I don't remember." I said, "Lots of stuff. Tell her about one or two, at least." There was an awkward pause, then some awkward sentences about butterflies. The librarians eyes had been squinting in concentration, but widened steadily as the flow began. Pretty soon, the librarian and I had learned about a species of butterflies from an aread we vacationed this summer. At a national park M had insisted we visit, she bought a book on butterflies of the area (which she also told the librarian was the source of her information, as if she was reading a research paper). Apparently, there is a variety of butterflies that live their entire lives inside a wood-like enclosure, and even pupate (her word, not mine) inside of it. So, the caterpillar and butterfly live inside of this wooden shell-like structure for the life of the creature. Did I mention that she sounded much more professional delivering the information? I have translated it into terms that make sense to me. That convinced the librarian she had done the reading. Honestly, I never knew about any of that, since I cannot possibly hear about everything she reads. I'm OK with that. Moving on, part of the prize is a new book, and they have a cart full of choices. That sounds like the easy part, right?! Wrong! My girl is a non-fiction girl, and the only non-fiction is in level readers (think past board books, but before chapter books). They had a wide variety, but this was very hard. The sweet librarian offered to tell her about some of them, having recovered from her surprise, and asked what grade M would be in this Fall. While this is a much more logical and effective approach than asking age, or assuming you can tell by the look of a child, it doesn't work with M. She is reading multiple grade levels above her accelerated grade level, so M continue to get more and more frustrated. She looked shy, but as her mother, I saw a pressure-cooker reaching danger point. The librarian remained persistent and got creative, playing up the nature interest by finding novels that include a lot of nature, and simultaneously playing up the nonfiction end by finding historical novels that include quite a bit of accurate historical information. We ended up with a book about the Titanic. Probably not what you'd expect if you saw M on the street. Most of the time people guess she is between 4 and 6 somewhere. She's not, but that is only the start of the complicated individual that is my child. If this concept is intriguing/entertaining to you, check out the Mysterious Benedict Society books, and pay attention to the smallest member. They are a bit dark, but appropriate at younger ages than many more mainstream series. M enjoyed the first one, but didn't want to go through the others. I might have to, anyway. I thought they were fascinating and touching.

Playdates and playmates

What do you picture when you think of kids interacting and getting to know one another? For girls, maybe you expect to hear talk of their favorite princesses. For boys, maybe their favorite superhero. Maybe you expect to hear talk of their favorite games, sports, toys or music. With any age, it seems like we try to find something in common to talk about - a common interest. There is a local child whose mother and I have been talking. Our kids have much in common, so of course, we've been saying we need to get the kids together. Finally, it happened, and ended up being a larger family outing of sorts. The kids, having heard about each other, were naturally curious about each other, as the adults got introduced all around. Before long, it was clear that these kids DO mesh well. I didn't hear about any superhero talk, nor games, nor sports, nor movies or music. I heard them talk about dogs giving birth. My husband heard M tell the boy about her snails, and I assume she mentioned how quickly it had multiplied from one. The boy said they must be asexual. M said that yes, they are hermaphrodites. And the conversation continued as if this was a typical everyday conversation. My husband was not surprised, but had to sit back and notice another new normal. As we were heading our different ways, the boy was talking about how the moon appears larger during some parts of its orbit around the earth and why that was . . . yep, this is a kindred spirit for M. I just never imagined that a sign of a good childhood friend for my daughter would be evident in a conversation about the reproductive practices of snails . . . Anyone else have their atypical kid conversations to share?

Fishy stuff

I've been AWOL for a while, but busy accumulating more observations of our new normal. We recently took a summer vacation to an area that is full of amazing things to explore. One particular group of them is much more commonly visited than the others, so we got to address that assumption over and over. Although the parents were willing, the child was not interested :) Instead, we visited a historical site M read about in her history curriculum last school year, a couple of science destinations and some sea life destinations. It was a blast, and none of us missed the "main attraction" of the area. I never thought we'd be visiting a science museum in a different area, as the MN science museum is awesome, and . . . not many people do that. However, that was a major draw for M. The best part is that they had different local attractions, just like SMM has the Mississippi River Parks exhibit in the entry. Our membership is also part of a reciprocal membership to science and technology museums across the country, so it worked there o.O - SO cool to save on top of everything! Most people return home with stuffed animals and t-shirts and photos and sunburn. We did bring back all of those things. We also brought back an unusually high number of nonfiction books. One of them features Angry Birds, which is SOOOOO cool. I'm the biggest fan in the family. Don't be fooled; the book is full of nonfiction info and features Angry Birds characters on every page. I'm still thrilled at that find. Most moms look for jewelry - I brought my mom a piece of jewelry back, but I was more excited about my Angry Birds book . . . I mean, the book we bought for M ;) We returned to a fish tank that had an algae infestation. Apparently, in our area this happens to tanks a lot. We were the tenth family or so to ask about it at the fish store. This was very emotional for M, but she was taking in everything the clerk said, even though she didn't appear to be, and even though I was struggling to follow it. This young man was very knowledgeable, very passionate about fish and tanks, and talked at lightning speed. I have a headache just remembering it. Through the whole thing I was concerned that she wasn't listening, yet . . . Algae infestations can be caused by one spore airborn. As we live in an area of many lakes, and fish tanks have lights and warmer water than outside, this creates problems. The solution is not fun, but relatively simple. There is basicly algae poison. They asked about what we had in the tank and were reading the warnings related to one particular fish we have (a pleco, I believe). As the salesman read the fine print, he spoke even faster, and I basicly heard that our fish and plant would be fine. I said OK and grabbed the bottle. "Wait!" I was startled to hear from my 7-year-old. "Invertebrates includes my snails, right?" Uh . . . I vaguely recalled hearing some slurred syllables that sounded vaguely like that in between the whines from my daughter who is quite attached to her fish tank. She was right. The salesman didn't seem concerned, calling the type of hermaphrodite snails we have "cocroaches of the aquarium world" and shrugging. My daughter wailed . . . this guy was too young to get that you don't talk like that in front of an emotional 7-year-old, even when she seems more aware than her mother that snails are invertebrates. He never did seem to catch on to that . . . ah well. My girl is very into science and has taken many classes from scientists. She is aware that some species are becoming extinct because of humans and some are because of other animals. She also knows that there are animals that have been relocated by humans and are causing imbalances in the ecosystems where they were relocated. However, when it relates to the snails she hugs goodnight and spends hours talking to, this concept got lost inside the fact that she is seven and loves her snails. We went from one to more than a dozen quite quickly, and she has named most of them . . . and can tell them apart. Did I mention that the largest one is about the size of a very small pea?! We also have several pockets of snail eggs on the side of the tank, even after an algae treatment that is supposed to be toxic to invertebrates. I digress. In the end, these snails cannot be released into a local body of water, even though they probably originated here (as they came to us through SMM). I am adamant about not telling lies to my daughter. We seriously answer her questions about santa by telling her about St Nicholas and she helps fill stockings for St Nicholas Day. I don't want to lie to her. Those of you thinking you never want snails, please learn from our mistakes. There are snails that are born male and female. They have beautifully decorative shells and are larger than what we have. They only breed in salt water, but survive in fresh water. You can have snails without having an infestation problem, but ask questions to avoid the drama. The kind of snails we have are generally food for other fish . . . and snails. Seriously. So, we have a jar of protected "favorite snails" (including Muncher, Dotty and Speck, among otherss) in a jar next to the aquarium while we do the algae treatments. Eventually, they will be put back into the aquarium and M will choose a fish and/or snail that eat the mini snails, in hopes of balancing our ecosystem. We are hopeful that there will be some small snails in the tank on an ongoing basis, but that additional pets in the aquarium will keep the population under control. We did some light research. If we leave the algae unchecked, everything in the tank will have the oxygen used up and all of the animals will die. I don't like that one. Plus, the green water looks and smells bad! If we leave the snails unchecked in the tank, they will reproduce until the food is gone and all die at once. That would be drama. In addition, the shells would get into the filter and burn up that motor, necessitating some major expense (that our daughter is covering from her earnings). That option didn't sound much better, and I'll admit to having nightmares about the snails getting thick and pouring out of the tank, pushing open the lid from sheer numbers . . . .*shiver* . . . We could leave the snails in the tank during the algae treatment and they would probably all die. That didn't go over with M. Even if they didn't, or the eggs survived, we'd need another solution. In the end, she chose the idea of predator fish, although there was wailing about Muncher being eaten . . . There were tears at first, and we had to balance her age with her interests and intellect, which isn't easy. However, I think it will be a good lesson. We also offered to make the decisions for her, if she'd rather. She wanted to choose. I'm glad my husband brought up the emotional struggle of wondering if she had made the right decision. He wanted her to know that we would make the decision if that would be easier for her. Another adventure in our new normal. Hard lessons, but good ones.

Sick = Anatomy lesson . . . for Mom

My daughter was moaning and complaining in her sleep. Of course, as a caring mother, I went in and talked with her. She didn't say much, except that her throat hurt and she didn't know what was wrong, but she was quietly crying. She felt warm, so I took her temperature . . . fever. She welled up with tears at the news, but took her medicine obediently. I reminded her that each sickness makes us stronger, building up our immunity to the new bug. She giggled, smiled, and started talking about how white blood cells "gobble up the germ" and how she'd like to see that. From there, she talked about platelets (yellow was the key word for me) and on and on . . . "When I was four or five, I thought there were only red blood cells in there [arteries, etc.]" ~M Not the converstaion I was expecting at 2 AM, as she woke up sick and upset/uncomfortable. She also said, "What are sinuses again? I keep forgetting that part." I explained briefly and simply. "Is that how your ears nose and throat are connected?" was her response. I had been massaging her sinuses to help relieve some of her discomfort . . . One more example of how our new normal still feels wierd. It's cool, though :)

What did you call that fly?!

We ate outside tonight. There are bugs outside. Normally, bugs are a source of fascination for hours, to the point that we must stop everything to notice each moth, etc. Tonight, a fork clanged, there was pointing, and I heard, "I think a fly might have landed on that." "Probably. Flies are outside. Keep eating." ~me "But flies are cargo planes for really bad microbes." She had me there. After wondering if this was a wierd feverish dream, I recovered enough to insist she finish her dinner. I need a larger vocabulary to dispute my daughter's rationalizations not to eat.

I love oxymorons

A brilliant friend steered me to this. Check it out. http://gizmodo.com/5918045/why-smart-people-are-actually-dumb

Just a kid

Anyone else remember the TV show Doogie Hauser MD? It's about a kid who becomes a doctor . . . when he's still a kid. I don't remember seeing many of the shows, but the actor is back in a number of things, now an adult. I don't remember many situation where emotional immaturity was much of a source of conflict for him in the show, but I do remember the concept of him having a hard time relating to other kids. Here's another, probably better-known example. In Family Ties, Alex P Keaton (Michael J Fox) set his sister Jennifer up with a boy genius, who laughably gives her an x-ray of his brain as a romantic gesture. In our house, we had a different kind of a situation most recently. M was acting her age, and relating just as any girl her age would. There are times where she seems emotionally advanced for her age, in my opinion, but we had a more "normal" experience. It broke my heart. There was a family event that was frightening and sad. It involved a hospital visit, and some of the things you'd expect to go along with that. My girl sat quietly on her dad's lap and showed little interest or curiosity about x-rays, machines, etc. That sounds perfectly normal, I'd imagine. Not so very long ago, this same girl visited a friend in the hospital with more elaborate medical accessories involved. She unabashedly asked questions about the machines, was curious about everything, and once her questions were satisfied, she climbed into the hospital bed with the patient. As they were young, this was accomplished easily. That hospital visit was more serious and prolonged. However, it was not as emotionally difficult. The strongest emotion expressed was her determination to visit her friend. Determination is the precise word, I assure you. I heard that it didn't matter that her friend would have to stay in bed and not play, but that she was sick and in the hospital and that she REALLY WANTED to go see her friend. Obviously, with age comes increased awareness of the reality of health and mortality. However, her approach then was not typical, from all we heard. I was very proud of her for that - I still am. The more recent experience did not leave me disappointed with her, in any way. However, a friend recently laughed and said, "I keep forgetting how young she is." Indeed. It's such an unusual mix. I often hear that I need to give her time to "catch up emotionally" because of her advanced scholastic situation. I find this mostly confusing. What is emotional maturity, anyway? I know some children who are and some adults beyond my years who are not. The entire concept is difficult for me to wrap my head around. I'm not suggesting that kids be treated like teenagers when their intellect is comparable, of course. However, I'm constantly reminded that we have so many ways that we try to make everything the same and comparable. I still do, and I've been dealing with some pretty unusual situations pretty constantly for a while now . . . . I started this blog for several reasons, including to help myself make sense of my thoughts. This particular attempt has failed, but perhaps it's emotional hangover from the hospital incident recently. Maybe I need to learn more from others in order to put my own thoughts together and have a better understanding. Or maybe I need to catch up emotionally ;)